“I get it,” he mutters, giving me a squeeze. “Things happen like that sometimes, and you don’t realize how much time passes or doesn’t, which leads you to think about how everything happens for a reason.”
He gets it.
Totally gets it.
“I’m an idiot.”
“You’re not. You have a lot of shit on your mind right now. Shit’s going down for you, and you’re scared.”
“I’m not scared,” I blurt.
“Don’t deny it. I can see it now. Saw it when I first saw you at the gas station. Again, when I dropped off the keys. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
I open my mouth to protest, but Heat stops me from speaking when he presses his lips to mine. It’s not a kiss like the others we’ve shared so far, this one is gentle. Tender even.
Definitely not as long as the other times he kissed me. It’s short and sweet. Still, it was as great a kiss as the others were.
I want to push him away. Tell him to stop kissing me. That there can never be anything to happen between us. Only the words won’t pass my lips.
Heat pulls back and nods to the bed. “Why don’t you try and get some rest?”
“I’m not tired,” I mutter a protest, knowing it was a lie. I’m mentally drained from everything that’s happened, and I didn’t know how to handle it all.
“That’s a lie and you know it.” Heat chuckles, moves to a dresser, pulls open the top drawer, and yanks out a black tee. “Here, you can put this on. The remote for the TV is on the nightstand. Watch something, relax, and get some rest, Trouble. Tomorrow, we’re gonna be talking about everything, but that’s then, tonight you need to chill and let your mind stop wandering.”
Without question, though I have many, I take the shirt and wait for him to leave the room. Which he does, only after planting one last kiss on my lips.
The moment the door closes behind him, I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding.
I change into the tee, put my clothes neatly on the little desk situated in the corner, and take in the room for the first time. It’s not a small room. Not overly large either. It’s big enough to have a king-size bed, a nightstand, two dressers, and a desk. Anexecutive office chair sits in front of the desk, and a huge TV is mounted on the wall across from his bed.
I walk into the attached bathroom, finding he has a good-sized walk-in shower. Big enough for two people to shower comfortably. Everything is neat and put away. No clothes scattered anywhere.
Done snooping, well as much as I allow myself, I do my business, use the extra toothbrush I find in the drawer of the sink vanity, and brush my teeth. I avoid looking in the mirror. I don’t want to chance seeing what I know I’ll see.
It’s not that I have any issues looking at myself, but when I’m vulnerable, I don’t want to see it. It’s then I’ll know just how weak and out of control I can be.
Finishing in the bathroom, I make my way back into Heat’s room and crawl into the middle of his bed. I grip the edge of the covers, pull them over me, and settle in.
Heat was right, I do need to chill out. Let my mind have a break. I need a time-out.
I grab the remote, turn the lamp next to the bed off, and find something on the TV. It’s time to stop thinking. I’ll figure out everything tomorrow or maybe the next day after.
THIRTEEN
HEAT
Three days.
Three damn days of McKenna being here at the clubhouse. Three days of me giving her as much space as I can.
That’s what I keep telling myself, but it’s more I’m avoiding her to get my head on straight when it comes to her. I’ve for the most part hidden in my office, sleeping on the damn couch instead of going to my bed where I could be joining her, holding her to me.
Avoiding her as best as I could didn’t mean I didn’t see her. Didn’t mean I didn’t speak to her. Didn’t mean I didn’t kiss her. I did all of these things. Meaning I really wasn’t avoiding her.
The more time I spend in McKenna’s presence, the more I want her. The draw to her has become a need I can’t deny.
I didn’t like that she had two panic attacks, though the second one wasn’t nearly as bad as the first one, where she disappeared right in front of Evelin. The other one she started to have, I felt it as if it were my own. I don’t know how, and since then, it’s as if I could feel her emotions like they were mine.
