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She takes it all pretty calmly. At least, until I tell her about the grotto.

“He just watched you drown?” Jillian’s voice pitches up incredulously. “He stood there and didnothing?!”

“For a minute, yeah.” I take a long, fortifying sip of wine. “Then he pulled me out and told me he didn’t kill Elena. Not like I think he did, anyway.”

“What the hell doesthatmean?”

“No idea. He didn’t exactly elaborate.” I stare into my glass. “He was too busy grinding me against a tree.”

Jillian chokes on her wine. “Excuse me?”

“Yeah.” I can feel the heat creeping up my neck. “It got a little wild.”

She sets her wine down and drags my hands into her lap. “Sunshine, this isallgetting a little wild. I’m worried for you.”

I pull my knees up to my chest. The sweats are soft and familiar, but they can’t quite swaddle away the chill that’s settled into my bones. “I know how it sounds, trust me. But I feel like I’m going crazy, Jill. When he touches me, I just… I can’t think straight. It’s like my brain goes offline.”

“That’s called being horny, babe. It’s not a legal defense.”

“Well, yes, fair. But it’s more than that.” I pick at a loose thread on my pants—old habits die hard. “When he looks at me, I feel like I’m the only person in the entire world. And I know that’s probably just his manipulation tactics at work, but…”

“But it feels real,” Jillian finishes for me.

I nod miserably. “Too real.”

She sighs, long and heavy, and pulls me into a hug. I collapse against her shoulder like a deflating balloon as all the tension and confusion of the past three days finally catches up with me.

“You’re an idiot,” she murmurs into my hair. “You know that, right?”

“Fully aware.”

“And this is probably going to end in disaster.”

“Also aware.”

“AndI’mgoing to have to pick up the pieces when it all goes sideways.”

“I’ll buy you chocolates. Lots of them.”

She pulls back and cups my face in her hands. Her thumbs brush away tears I didn’t realize I’d been crying. “Okay,” she says finally. “I can see I’m not going to talk you out of this.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Oh, I’m furious.” She releases my face and reaches for her wine again. “But I also know you, Rae. Once you’ve decided something, you’re like a dog with a bone. Stubborn to a fault. It’s one of your worst qualities.”

“Thanks, Bean. Really feeling the love.” I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. “Anyway, enough about me and my terrible life choices. What’s going on with you? You look like you haven’t slept in a week.”

Something shadowy passes behind Jillian’s eyes before she plasters on a casual shrug. “Oh, you know. The usual. Chasing leads, pissing off powerful people, dodging weirdos.”

The last bit snags my attention. “Weirdos?”

She waves me off, but on some unspoken instinct, her hand goes to her neck. She tugs her collar up, adjusting it like she's cold. “It’s probably nothing. I’ve just had this feeling lately, like… someone’s watching me?” She laughs, though it’s a little too brittle to be real. “I’m sure it’s just paranoia. Sort of comes with the territory in my line of work.”

My stomach clenches. “Jill, that doesn’t sound like nothing. Do you think it’s related to this story?”

She bobs a shoulder. “Maybe, maybe not.”

“Have you considered backing off a little bit?”