I leave my room.
I walk into hers.
I sit on the edge of her bed and pull her clothes onto my lap. Holding them, I lie on my side, breathing in her scent.
Exhaustion. Shock. Stress. I don’t know what eventually pushes me toward sleep, but I do finally fall asleep. And I dream of her. But she’s behind a dark curtain, and while I can hear her voice, I can’t see her or reach her, and I spend hours running, searching, and failing to find her.
Chapter 22 - Athena
The burden of my father’s death aches inside me like a constant magnetic pull, weighing me down.
Losing the last person I can call family is daunting and scary. And knowing I will never see him again is difficult to process. My father and I might not have been on the best of terms, and I might have already been ready to cut him from my life—but at least I still knew he was out there in the world.
Now he’s gone, and there’s a hollow space inside me that will take time to heal.
I understand the burden of grieving someone who has passed away. I grieved my mother even though I didn’t know her.
What I don’t understand or know how to face is the grief of losing someone who is still alive.
This is a different kind of grief.
Adrian is a phone call away. He is right here, easy to reach out to, easy to meet up with… but I can’t.
I can’t because I have to be strong and stick to what I believe in.
And I believe that I should not let people lie to me.
But my heart and my head are at war.
Every moment is an internal battle with me not to leave here and go back to him. But with what I found out, how can I do that?
I thought it would be easy to leave him after what he did. I’ve never been more wrong about something in my life.
Because no matter how much my logic will tell me, over and over again, that he is no good for me. My heart wants him back. And my heart shouts so much louder than my mind.
The apartment I am staying in is in the city. Not too far from Adrian’s mansion. Lucky the views are in the opposite direction of where he lives, otherwise, I might find myself pointlessly staring across the impossible distance toward him.
It’s not snowing today. It seems as though the worst of winter is passing us by. But my body feels cold. I wrap my arms around my shoulders and rub my arms, biting at my lip.
It’s a cute apartment. More than I could ever afford on my own. I am grateful for it. Without it… who knows where I would be.
A knock at the door has my stomach churning.Is it him? Did he find me?
The first thought is panic. The second through is excitement. The anger that I might be excited to see him.
“Athena?” her voice calls through the door. “It’s me,” she says.
“Coming,” I call back, scolding myself for being so jumpy.
Unlatching the two bolts on the inside, I tug the door open.
Anka immediately hugs me. “How are you holding up?” she asks.
“Is there any news?”
“Not in the papers or anything. I don’t think they know who killed your dad. I’m so sorry, honey,” she says.
I nod, stepping back to let her in. It’s her place. She usually rents it out on Airbnb or lets friends stay there when theyvisit the city. Thank goodness she answered my call. And thank goodness she was kind enough and didn’t even hesitate to help me.
