She looks shocked.
“That was…” she gasps.
“You’re a squirter,” I smirk. “I’ve always fantasized about it,” I tell her.
“It’s… I didn’t know that would happen,” she whispers.
“I’ll make sure it happens again, kitten. Next time I’ll make you squirt into my mouth, and I’ll lick it up before I fuck you.”
***
It’s late afternoon, and Athena is standing in front of me with her arms folded over her chest, pouting in annoyance. She looks furious. that though. She looks hurt and confused.
“Adrian, you can’t keep me locked up in the house!” she blurts out, continuing the same argument we’ve been having for a few days now.
“I can and I will,” I growl. Can’t she see I am trying to protect her? It’s clear her father is up to no good, plotting something, and who knows what risk I am taking by letting her go out there without me. No. I won’t allow it.
“You’re smothering me! Why are you doing this?” she huffs, shaking her head, the pout getting more serious.
“Because it’s my responsibility to keep you safe.”
“No, it isn’t actually. I am my own person who gets to make her own choices!”
“Athena, I said no. That is it. There is no more discussion,” I snap.
She swallows hard, her eyes welling with tears. The sight of her unhappiness breaks my heart. It aches through me like knives in my chest.
She shakes her head, depleted and miserable, then turns and walks away.
It’s been like this since I realized I love her.
The past few days, I have been a nightmare to live with, and I can see what I’m doing, but I don’t know how to stop it.
What if I let her go out and something happens to her? What if she gets taken from me? What if I lose her? I will quite literally turn into a monster if that happens. I can’t be without her.
I can’t let her out of my sight!
I hear the bedroom door upstairs slamming.
I flop down onto the sofa and groan loudly, leaning forward, and I press my face into my hands. What the fuck am I doing? I’ve lost my mind! Is this what love does to people? Does it make them crazy? Because I swear when you love someone, you’re supposed to make them happy, not send them running in tears of misery. I am seriously fucking this up, and I’m going to lose her based on my own stupid actions.
I push my hand through my hair and let out a long breath of air. I take in a deep breath and hold it. I hold it and feel it stretch my lungs open. I feel the way my body begins to burn as the oxygen depletes inside me. I hold it longer, sensing my body begin to panic.
I am the one in control. Not my reactions. Not my primal instincts. I can override my fear. I can override the panic!
I keep holding my breath until my head begins to swim with darkness. Only then do I slowly, painfully, let the air push from my lungs and gulp in another fresh dose of oxygen.
I am the one in control. Logic. Not fear.
I have been acting out of fear ever since my heart, body, and soul realized how much I love her. And it’s not fair to her. I have to use logic.
And the logic is that I am terrified that her father will somehow take her from me.Fear.
The solution is that I need to confront him. Not in the same ways I have done in the past. That didn’t work. Trying to intimidate someone when they are fully aware they have the upper hand is pointless. And that man, unfortunately, knows he has a hold on me. He knows I can’t physically hurt him because it will upset Athena.
So, I need to do something else.
I glance at my watch. Six thirty. What are the chances that her father isn’t already drunk out of his mind and gambling?
