He held me at gunpoint.
He sold me to a stranger to clear his own debt.
He didn’t try to reach out or check that I was ok afterward; he went gambling and drinking with his friends in some dodgy bar.
He stole from Adrian.
My head floods all at once with each piece of truth until the image I have had of my father completely breaks away and gets replaced with reality.
Every time he asked me for money for smokes. Every time I worked a late shift, I could buy extra food for him. When his rent was late, I depleted my savings to cover him for the month.
Every single time he took from me, and how he played it. The soft pout. The puppy eyes. The ad, gentle demeanor of a man doing his best and just needing a little help.
It was all a ruse.
He played me.
He manipulated me.
And he’s been doing it for a very long time.
I sigh, leaning forward in the chair and pressing my hands against my eyes. There is a dull headache forming at the base of my skull.
I owe Adrian an apology.
The thought makes me look up.I should go find him.
I turn the chair toward the massive window and let my eyes roam lazily over the warehouse floor. My emotions are a bit of a wreck. I’m still fighting little surges of tears and trying to absorb the shock of it all.
Adrian still took me.I remind myself.
Yes, but he took my father and me,let it happen.And after he took me, what did he actually do? Did he hurt me? Did he treat me badly? No.
I have questions, though. What does he want from me? Does he really view me aspaymentfor my father’s debts, and if so, what does he expect me to do in return?
My stomach twists. No. He would have already made his demands of me.
He’s been patient with me.
He’s even given me space when I locked myself away in my room.
The only person I should really be furious with is my father.
I’ve been directing my anger at Adrian all this time, when he isn’t the one to blame for this mess.
It’s my father.
Ricardo Mendelez.A man I don’t even truly know.
I stand up from the chair and walk toward the open door.
It’s odd because right now, I could try to escape. And apart from the fact that I agreed to Adrian’s conditions last night, I don’t actuallywant to.
I think the problem is that I have nowhere to go.
My apartment won’t still be waiting for me. I missed the rent. The small amount of my belongings would have been tossed out onto the street by now by my asshole of a landlord, who never gave me a minute’s rest. He would be banging on my door a week before rent was due. Once or twice, he even let himself into my apartment to find me, even when I wasn’t behind on payments. He was creepy. Unkind. Gross. There is no way he’s left my things all waiting nicely for me.
Best-case scenario, they are boxed up and shoved into the back of the laundry room beneath the building. But honestly, there is nothing there worth going back for. Nothing sentimental.
