A grateful smile pulls at my mouth. And I leave her office before the emotion in my chest gives me away.
As soon as I get into the car, I pull out of the driveway and force myself to focus on all the things I need to set up so Alicia will feel comfortable staying with me for those five weeks.
I try not to think about who Ceci will be with on that trip. Or what she’ll be doing, how easy it’ll be for her to fall even further into someone else’s life… Into another man’s arms.
I try not to think about any of it.
And I fail.
September
Cecily
The past few weeks went by as if they were racing time. I don’t know if it was because of all the arrangements I had to make before the trip, or because of my own anxiety bubbling underneath everything.
Tomorrow I’ll be leaving for my first destination.
The kids took the news surprisingly well. They were more than happy for me. Alicia asked me to take lots of photos and videos, and to bring her a ton of souvenirs from every place I visit. Ethan wanted to make sure the agency was handling all the details properly, including my travel insurance and international health coverage.
Saying Mark was thrilled would be an understatement. He secured new advertisers and even managed to arrange collaborations with some of the places I’ll be staying at.
Helping me plan this trip brought a light back into his eyes. One that had dimmed ever since he returned from New Jersey. He hasn’t told me what happened there. He said he doesn’t want to talk or think about it anymore, but I know the moment will come when he finally lets it out.
That’s who Mark is. He buries everything until he can finally speak about it at a moment when it no longer hurts.
He and Felicity practically organized the entire trip by themselves, bickering the whole time, and my opinion was only taken into account when it came to the itineraries.
Three weeks ago, we helped Ethan move into the apartment he’ll be sharing with his friends. I thought he would choose Columbia, the same university Dalila is attending, but in the end, he chose Cornell, the same university his best friend Conrad got into, and, according to him, one of the best places in the country to study architecture.
We flew to Ithaca again three days ago for Ethan’s birthday. Just a one-day trip because Alicia had classes the next morning.
Alicia, Ethan, and I went to a steakhouse he and his friends are currently obsessed with. Happy and proud don’t even begin to describe how I felt seeing how well he’s adapting to living away from home for the first time.
When we said goodbye at the airport, I had to work really hard not to cry. He made me promise to keep my phone charged at all times and to carry multiple power banks “in case of emergencies.”
I smiled and hugged him tightly.
I sigh now and pull two more lightweight dresses from the closet to pack. Felicity is sprawled across my bed, scrolling through her phone.
“I’m assuming your offer to help me pack was meant to work telepathically, since you haven’t looked up from that screen once.”
She just smiles and keeps typing. “New campaign. My brain is on fire with ideas to share with the marketing team.”
I smile and keep placing the last few items into the one suitcase I’m taking with me.
I’m about to close the suitcase when Felicity says, “Wait! I brought somethingveryimportant that you cannot forget.”
She jumps off the bed, walks over to my desk where she left her purse earlier, and pulls out a small box.
The moment I see what she’s holding, I say, “No. Thank you for the offer, but no.”
I start closing the suitcase again, but she swats my hand away and unzips it like she owns the thing, tucks the box of condoms beneath a few of my clothes, and says, “You can thank me later.”
I huff. “I’m not going to need that.”
She raises an eyebrow and mirrors my crossed-arms stance. “And you’re not about to spend a few weeks in Italy with your Italian hunk?”
“He’s not my...” I stop halfway and sigh. “You know what? Leave it. I’m not using it anyway, so it doesn’t matter.”
