Everything. For Cecilia.
Alexander
Breathtakingly beautiful.
It’s the first thought that hits me the moment I open the car door to help her step out. The same thought that struck me months ago, the first time I saw her standing on the shore in the Hamptons.
I was instantly mesmerized. So utterly taken that instead of scolding Sam for nearly knocking her over, I almost thanked him.
He brought her close. Close enough for me to see the exact shade of her eyes, the freckles along her nose and cheekbone, to hear the hitch in her breath.
When she pointed toward her children, my gaze went straight to her hands. And seeing the rings on her finger... it hit like a blow to the chest.
I didn’t ask about her husband, there was no need. No man in his right mind would willingly stay away from a woman like her.
But when he wasn’t there the next morning, nor later when I brought the fish for her and the kids, the realization struck with cold clarity.
She must have married astronzo[II]. An absolute idiot.
And my suspicion became certainty the night I saw them again at the charity gala at the Waldorf Astoria, almost two months after the Hamptons.
I could hardly believe my luck when I spotted her across the room. She was speaking to a taller brunette, offering polite smiles that never reached her eyes.
Those eyes were somewhere else entirely, distant, dimmed in a way that had no business belonging to a woman like her.
Then I saw him: the blond man at her side. Perfect posture, meticulously styled hair, tuxedo pressed within an inch of its life... and his hand on her, always on her. Thestronzo.
That day I silently chastised myself, a forty-one-year-old man. I should have known better than to think like a jealous teenager. But the truth was simple:I envied him.I wanted to be exactly where he stood.
When they began walking in my direction, I took it as a sign. I excused myself from the man I was speaking to and crossed the room to greet them.
She was stunning. But it was the way she smiled at me, that broke something open inside my chest.
Then came the idiot, Colin Montgomery, showing his true nature within seconds. The possessive pull of his hand on her waist. The unnecessarily firm handshake, as if to say,“This is mine, not yours.”
I was amused, mostly. I tried, truly tried, not to look at her for the rest of the night. I failed every time.
And then came the day I read the post“When you know, you know”on her blog. I reread it a hundred times, each word confirming the truth I didn’t want to accept:
It wasn’t fiction, speculation, or a possibility. It was a woman’s soul, cracked open and bared for anyone willing to see.
I didn’t think twice before asking the right person to get me her number.
Our paths crossed again in December, at the worst possible moment. I had just finished reading that absurd article in the car when we pulled up to my building.
I will never forget the look in her eyes. Frightened. Shaken. The way her hands trembled around the glass of water I handed her... the way she could barely speak...
All of it because of a man too blind, too stupid, to understand the treasure he had been holding. Even now, I can’t comprehend how Montgomery could be such a fool.
I swear it, had she remained married, I would have kept my distance. It would have hurt, regardless, I would have been satisfied to see her happiness from the margins.
But as myNonnoused to say:
“Quello che per te è spazzatura, per un altro può essere un tesoro.”
“One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.”
And in that moment... I understood exactly what he meant. And for the first time in a very long time, I allowed myself to want.
