She turns to face me. “Yes. All of that. And narcissistic. Entitled. Self-centered, too.”
Ceci shakes her head.
“You made everything about you,” she says, exhaling through her teeth. “I knew you had that tendency. You never hid it. But I chose to believe it belonged only to the world out there. Not to me or our children.”
I lower my head.
“I know. I was never a good man. For you, I tried. I really did. I tried to be a better version of myself... until I couldn’t anymore.”
“No.” She cuts me off. “You said no more excuses, so don’t use that one. It’s not that youcouldn’tanymore. It’s that youchosenot to.”
“You’re right.”
“Damn right I am! You weren’t a boy or some young man still figuring himself out. You didn’t get to feel wounded because Iwas doing something for myself. You should have acted your age—or, at the very least, talked to me every time I asked, every time Ibeggedyou to do something to change things.”
Her chest rises and falls as she stalks closer.
“I was there for you, Colin. All the way.”
“Even when Ethan was little and I was still in college. Through every dinner and celebration I planned for your company’s milestones. Every time I asked about your day, your plans, your dreams. And none of it was out of obligation, or to please you. I did it out of love.”
She shakes her head again.
“And the moment something changed in me... when I no longer fit into the picture you had of me, of us—” Her voice breaks. “You used that as retaliation? Years of resentment, and then you threw our entire history away for something that, in the end, wasn’t even worth it. So what you’re saying is, you didn’t cheat because you fell in love.
And you didn’t cheat because I was lacking or because you were unhappy. You cheated because youwantedto—because you felt entitled to.”
When I feel tears slide down my face, I wipe them away roughly.
“I never deserved you. You were always too good for me. But I wanted you all the same. And your love... your love made me feel invincible… until I forgot how to love you the way you deserved.”
A sob tears out of me.
“And that’s why I had to tell you everything. No more excuses. I needed to apologize for every way I failed you. I had to say I’m sorry, even if I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”
“I already forgave you.”
I snap my head toward her.
“W-what?”
She holds my gaze. “Not for you. For me. To keep living. Really living… not just surviving. I had to let go of the anger and the pain. Of what you did to me.”
“Don’t take this as forgetting. I never will. But it doesn’t define me now. It doesn’t take over my thoughts or poison my heart.”
Because she doesn’t love me anymore. That’s what she means.
“So if this was the closure you needed,” she adds quietly, “now you have it.”
I nod. Then, on unsteady legs, I push myself to my feet, fully aware there’s nothing left for me to say. I take two steps toward the door… and stop.
I turn back to her.
“If I had told you everything I told you today... a year ago. When you asked… would it have made any difference?”
“No,” she says, without missing a beat. “I asked because I needed you to confront what you’d done.‘It meant nothing’was never enough.”
She sighs. “The only way this could have been different,” she says, “is if you had never cheated. If you had never stopped choosing our family. I would have loved you. And nothing would have changed. But that life is behind us now.”
