“I’m sorry again,” she said, her voice barely a whisper.
Catherine’s eyes swept the cosy room.She glanced back at the half-eaten meal Jules had so thoughtfully prepared and their empty glasses on the table. She drew a decisive breath and bunched her napkin from her lap onto the table, before standing to leave.
25
CURSUM PERFICIO
1991
Ispent the first two weeks of the summer break helping Dad around the Daltons’ estate. After a stressful semester of exams, it was a relief to relax in Dad’s easy company. Not much conversation passed between us, but we always reached to turn up the same songs on the radio and never disagreed about the best biscuits to dunk in our tea.
The start of August delivered a blisteringly hot day. Dad and I spent the morning mending the dry stone wall on the northeast corner of the estate. Sweat trickled down my back, plastering my shirt to my skin. Now and then, I’d pause, wipe my brow with a dusty forearm and glance towards the cool, inviting blue of the swimming pool in the distance. The work was slow, painstaking, and had me craving an icy beer in a cool bath.
As Dad pulled the Defender up to the cottage, Jane came trundling down the path from the main house, a broad smile blooming on her face. Her sundress billowedin the slight breeze, and her coiffed blonde hair bounced with each step.
“Yoo-hoo,” she called out. “Catherine, I have the best news!”
My heart sank. I loved Jane, but I’d made every excuse to avoid her since my return from university. On the few occasions I’d run out of luck, she’d ambushed me, peppering me with details about Jeremy and Francesca’s trip, how healthy they looked, and how loved-up they were when she and Jasper had met them for lunch on the Cote d’Azur last month.
I couldn’t bear it.
Yes, time had passed and my wounds were no longer raw enough for the salt to sting, but still I couldn’t quite bring myself to be happy for them, especially when it was likely a facade. Francesca might be able to fool the Daltons with her calculated charm, but she couldn’t fool me.
I jumped out of the Defender and pushed my hair back behind my ears where it had come loose from my ponytail. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Jeremy phoned. They’re coming home!” Jane almost bubbled over with the news.
“Oh, right.” My stomach dropped. I tried to force a smile, but my face wouldn’t comply. I hadn’t seen Jeremy or Francesca in over two years, and I had no desire for that to change. If I’d realised they’d be coming back this summer, I would’ve planned to be anywhere other than on the Daltons’ estate.
“Isn’t it exciting?” she asked with eyes so wide they looked set to pop out. “I haven’t spoken to Jasper yet, but Ithought I’d throw a welcome-home supper. What do you think?”
I shifted my weight, feeling the uncomfortable prickle of sweat between my shoulder blades. I could almost hear that cold beer and bath screaming my name. Jane’s gaze flittered over to Dad, who was tinkering around with something by the shed.
“Just the six of us, or should I invite the Beaumonts, too?”
“No,” I said a bit too quickly. “The six of us would be… nice.” I blinked, thankful she’d asked and not just invited them. It was bad enough having to face Francesca and Jeremy, without the hassle of Handsy Hugo in the mix too.
“Good, okay. Well, that’s settled then.” Jane rubbed my arm. “I wish you’d have let us get you that plane ticket, Catherine. It would’ve done you good to relax in the sun with your friends,” she said, referring to the generous offer they’d made to fly me out to see Jeremy and Francesca. The Daltons meant well, and it was a kind offer, which I’d politely declined by saying I’d agreed to help Dad over the summer break. The reality was, I couldn’t imagine a torture more terrible than time alone with Jeremy and Francesca.
“There’s plenty of sun here.” I swept my arm out at the cloudless sky. “Besides, I’ve been enjoying catching up with Dad, and mainly been making myself useful, I think.”
Dad stood by my side now. He bumped his elbow into mine and smiled down at me.
“When do they get back?” I asked.
“Tomorrow.” Jane clapped and exhaled a happy little hum.
I drew a breath. There wasn’t much time to prepare myself, but equally it meant less time to spend worrying. Dad and I watched as Jane skipped back to the house.
“Are you going to be okay, kiddo?”
I looked up into his face, his eyes crinkled with concern. Something unspoken passed between us. He knew; somehow he knew.
I tried to speak, but the words caught in my throat.
Dad crushed me into a hug I didn’t know I needed as much as I did.
Even after all this time,thinking about Francesca was like pressing a bruise. The last time I’d seen her, I’d screamed in her face and shoved her. In the time and distance that had stretched between us, I’d grown — older, wiser, and far more resilient. I’d built walls Francesca wouldn’t be able to tear down.
