Dr.T:
You might just be the first.
Betty77:
Well, in that case… I’ll say it again. I think you’re both wise and sexy, Catherine.
And one day, I would very much like to take you out for that mindful meal you so beautifully described x
Shit, shit, shit!Catherine snapped the lid of her laptop shut. With those words, it was as if Betty had jumped into the room and was standing before her. It was a reminder that she was talking to a real person out there somewhere — and real people wanted real things.
That conversation had been both exhilarating and terrifying, but a line had been crossed. Catherine was neither wise nor sexy; it was just a good act — easy enough to pull off online.
But the way Betty had used her first name. Yes, it was readily available on the top of the blog page, but she’d never used it in their messages before. It felt very personal, like she was looking into Catherine’s eyes and seeing her, really seeing her. And Catherine didn’t want to be seen,did she?
8
SPELLBOUND
1988
The last two weeks of term slipped by in a wintry blur as an Arctic gale howled across campus, stripping the last brittle leaves from the trees. Through the grey filter of my mood, everything looked dull and desolate.
Rather than confront Francesca about the unreasonable volume of her stereo, I invested in a Walkman from the record store. I buried myself in coursework and did my best to distance myself from Francesca and Jeremy. When I needed to leave my room, I’d put my ear to the wall first to make sure Francesca was out. I ignored the invitations and small taps at my door, or else I called back and declined with excuses about stomach bugs or deadlines. Then, I’d watch from my window as Jeremy and Francesca walked across the square together, arm in arm, pressed in close to one another for warmth. I watched her throwing her head back, laughing at one of his jokes, and how heinclined his head towards hers, their breath misting as one in the cold air.
I thought she liked me.
My imagination ran wild with everything they were doing alone together. Had Francesca kissed Jeremy on the other side of the wall to where I slept and dreamed of her?
I imagined her pushing him back and straddling his lap. Or was it Jeremy who’d taken the lead? I swallowed the lump in my throat as I thought about his rough hands running up her soft thighs. Had she let him touch her where I’d been longing to touch her? I couldn’t bear the thought, and, at the same time, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. My stomach knotted as I imagined the two of them laughing about how pathetic I was —a love-struck loser.
By the last day of term, I’d dodged Francesca for almost a fortnight, yet her presence still invaded my senses. Her pulsing music haunted me. Her fruity scent lingered in the hallway. Sometimes I swore I could feel her heat emanating through the flimsy wall between us; I loathed myself for wanting to press my body against it just to feel closer to her.
Despite the December drizzle, the campus buzzed with end-of-semester excitement. Assignments were in, lectures were finished for the year, and people were getting ready to head home for the Christmas break. The collective mood lifted my spirits. I even surprised myself by smiling at the pucker-faced librarian when I checked out the books I needed to get a head start on next term’s reading list.
My smile fell as I stepped outside and Jeremy called my name.Shit.
He panted like he’d jogged to catch up to me.
“Hey.” I clutched my library books to my chest.
“We haven’t seen you for ages…”
We.That tiny word slammed into me, and I redirected my gaze to my boots.
“I’ve just sorted out our train tickets for tomorrow,” he said. “Sorry, it’s an early one, we’ll need to get going by 9 a.m. Shall we get a taxi to the station, save lugging all our stuff up the hill?”
My mind was still stuck onWe.I couldn’t look at him again, so I just nodded.
“Great. Well, that’s that then.” Jeremy shuffled his feet. “I’m just heading to the union. It’s the end of term, which means half-price Purple until the bar’s dry! Why don’t you join us?”
Us!I winced. “Sorry, I have to go.” With my head down, I charged past him, ignoring the concern in his voice as he called out, “Are you alright, Trusty?”
He followed up with something about Francesca, but thankfully I didn’t catch it as I sped away from him.
So, they’re officially a ‘we’ and an ‘us’.I already felt foolish enough about my misdirected feelings for Francesca, I didn’t need Jeremy seasoning the wound.Of course it was him she was interested in and not me. Why am I so stupid?
After the train journey, I could go back to avoiding him again. The sprawling grounds of his family home were easy enough to get lost in. For as long as my dad hadworked for the Daltons, he and I had spent quiet, cosy Christmases together in our little cottage, enjoying the ease of each other’s company. The only social obligation we had every year was the Daltons’ Boxing Day buffet. I imagined this year would be no exception unless I could dream up a good enough excuse.
