APRIL - THE REED LAND, NORTH CAROLINA
Now playing: Sextape - Deftones
Thesteamfromtheshower clung to the mirror in front of me, obscuring my reflection in a haze of blurred grays and whites. I wiped a circle into the glass with the palm of my hand, staring at the face that peered back. It looked softer than it had in years. The darkness under my eyes had faded. The tension that usually lived in my jaw, grinding my teeth while I slept until my head ached, was gone.
North Carolina, for once in my life, had been good to me. Good to us.
But the silence of the house tonight was different. It wasn’t the peaceful, heavy quiet of the last few days, the kind that felt like a warm blanket. This was the sharp, inevitable silence of a clock ticking down. Tomorrow, we were going to be on a plane to Sacramento for the biggest night of mine and Cal’s career to date: a main event match atWrestle Empire, against each other, and against Evan.
Tomorrow, the noise would be back. The cameras, the scripts, the politics, the hiding.
I turned away from the mirror and reached for my towel, drying off with slow, mechanical movements, trying to make the moment last just a little longer. My eyes drifted to the vanity drawer, specifically to the small, unopened package I’d shoved into the back when we arrived at the start of the week.
Myheart did a double beat against my ribs, a heavy thud of anticipation.
I reached in and pulled it out.
I had bought it online late one night, my thumb hovering over thePurchasebutton for a solid ten minutes before I finally committed. Yet, even then, I didn’t think I would ever actually put it on. It was a fantasy, a “what if” scenario I played out in my head when the nights got too lonely.
The plan had been to save it forWrestle Empireweekend. I had the whole thing mapped out in my brain, the fancy hotel overlooking the skyline, the adrenaline from the madness of the weekend, those fucking button-downs Cal would be stuck in for the duration because he was the champion. I just knew that high would send us both into overdrive. But standing here tonight, in the house that felt too quiet, waiting for the reality of our world to crash back into our perfect little bubble of safety… It felt ridiculous to wait.
I didn’t want a hotel room. I didn’t want the high of the chaos. I wanted him here. I wanted to give him this part of me in the safety of the home I’d poured myself into rebuilding for him.
With shaky hands, I tore the package open. It was simple, a deep hue of red, the kind that Cal always said he liked on me because it brought out my skin tone, and it was terrifyingly small. A scrap of fabric designed to tease, not to cover.
I knew we’d be getting settled for the night soon. We’d spent the entire day enjoying the peace together, and we’d made the promise of turning in early. My mind swirled around the idea. We’d likely sit in the living room for an hour or so before heading to the room. Could I handle what I had in mind for that long without losing my composure?
I didn’t give my brain time to talk me out of it.
I took a sharp breath as I opened the lower drawer and pulled out the black silicone plug tucked away in its little velvet cinch bag.
My heart hammered against my sternum, a frantic rhythm of nerves and desire that made my hands tremble.
I moved to the vanity, gripping the cool marble edge with both hands to steady myself. I leaned forward, bowing my head until my forehead nearly touched the mirror, spreading my feet wide on the bathmat. I grabbed the bottle of lube I kept hidden behind the mouthwash. My hands shook as I squeezed a generous amount onto my fingers, the slick, cool liquid coating my skin.
I reached back, finding my hole. I was tight. Nervous. I circled the rim slowly, teasing the muscle to relax, focusing on my breathing. I pushed one finger inside, hissing at the stretch. Then two. I worked them in a slow, steady rhythm, imagining it was Cal’s fingers, imagining the look on his face when he realized I was doing this for him. I imagined him watching me, his eyes dark and hungry.
When I felt relaxed enough, open enough, I picked up the plug. I coated it thoroughly, making it shine under the bathroom lights. I braced my forearms heavily against the counter, arching my back, and pushed the flared tip against my opening.
It slid in with a heavy filling pressure that made my knees buckle slightly. I gasped, knuckles turning white as I gripped the marble, bracing myself as the widest part stretched me to my limit. It felt incredibly full, a blunt intrusion that demanded all my attention.
It settled into place, the flared base resting against me.
The sensation was overwhelming. I felt full. Every small movement sent a ripple of awareness straight to my groin. I stood up, and the weight of it shifted inside me, a constant, heavy reminder of what I was preparing for. It was a secret ache, a delicious fullness that made me feel like a slut in the best way possible.
Once I was finally composed enough, I slid the small piece of fabric on. It was tight against my skin, making me feel exposed in a way I couldn’t quite describe. The thin strap settled right between my cheeks, framing the flared base of the plug perfectly, holding it in place.
Every movement felt like it was going to send me over the edge right now. Fuck, maybe this was a bad idea. Or maybe it was the best idea I’d ever had.
I carefully pulled Cal’s gray sweatpants back on, concealing the red thong and the hidden gem beneath it. The pants hung low on my hips, the soft cotton brushing against my skin, hiding everything like a secret weapon.
I took in a shaking breath, steeling myself.Just fucking do it, damn it.
I opened the bathroom door, the steam billowing out behind me and into the cool, dark bedroom.
“Cal?” I called out, my voice sounding thicker than I intended, practically dripping with the secret I was keeping.
“In the living room,” he called back. His voice sounded weird, though. Strained, maybe?
