“They’ll be waking soon for their mid-morning meal,” Brandt said, oblivious to the way my thoughts had turned, “so you can hold them if you’d like.”
I didn’t need to be told twice. Standing, I reached into one side of the double stroller and carefully slid my hands under Finlay’s tiny frame, cradling the back of his neck and head with one hand and his butt and spine with my other. Then I lifted him up and carefully settled him in the crook of my arm, breathing in his sweet newborn smell, and the unicorn scent which dusted over the top of that.
A single dark blue eye cracked open to glare at me for the disturbance, but he didn’t cry or fuss. He stretched, tiny limbs moving jerkily as he let out the cutest little squeak, and then he settled back into sleep.
I was suddenly overwhelmed with desperate yearning.
I wanted this so badly. Wanted my own little unicorn-dragon baby. A tiny little person who scented like family and home.
“Sage…” Brandt’s voice was full of compassion and empathy, and it took me a moment to realize I had tears slipping down my cheeks.
“He’s just so precious,” I said, blinking to get rid of the blurriness which had stolen over my vision. My voice was wobbly, and my heart ached. I couldn’t tear my gaze from the tiny face nestled securely against me. His little chest rose and fell in time with his newborn snuffles. He was perfect. “They both are, Bee.”
“Sage,” my brother repeated, so tender and sympathetic still, “I wish—”
“Shh,” I hushed him, shaking my head. “I know.”
In that moment, I felt guilty for not telling him that I had found an alpha. That I knew there was a real, fighting chance for me to experience carrying a child of my own. Of all of us, Brandt was the only one who I knew had been driven just as desperately by his biological urges as I was. Hegot it. More than Eric or Dexter ever would, despite also being omegas.
Nevertheless, the confession still died in my throat, because I couldn’t tell him for sure that my alpha wanted me to bear his pups. Our relationship was still so new, we had barely spent any time together before he’d had to leave, and he wasn’t in a rush to bond with me and Dex, either.
He might have been genetically related to Micah, but Sergio was a completely different kind of alpha to my brother’s, and some part of me couldn’t help but worry that he would come back from Europe and change his mind.
Or, worse, find another omega (or more) on his travels.
While we hadn’t known each other long enough to exchange declarations of love, it would probably crush me if that was the case. And, if Sergio found other omegas, I doubted he would want to settle down and start a family with me. Even now, I worried that he would come back and tell me that he really did think he was too old to sign up for newborns and diapers and bottles and colic. He had every right to feel that way. Babies weren’t easy. Even if infancy was barely a blip in our extended lifespans, it would still be understandable if Serge didn’t want to sign up for parenthood. He’d gone several hundred years as an unmated beta, after all.
And he already has a biological child. Maybe even more that we don’t know about.
Those thoughts made me squirm with discomfort, too. I was technically cradling one of my alpha’s grandsons in my arms, and knowing that still made me feel weird, even if neither of my mates seemed bothered by the Jerry Springer-esque tangle of relationships forming in our pack.
“Perhaps with the mass Unlocking events…” Brandt tried again, clearly wanting to soothe my pain.
I almost broke. The words were right there on the tip of my tongue.
I have an alpha.
I bit the confession back, forcing a smile instead. “Maybe,” I said cheerily, ignoring the tightness in my belly. I hated lying, even by omission.
But, until I knew for sure where we all stood and where our relationship was going, I wasn’t going to say anything. Especially with Brandt knowing how badly Dexter had hurt mein the past. I didn’t need a lecture on being fooled twice. If everything fell apart again, I would rather keep that to myself.
Brandt eyed me warily for a moment, slowly nodding. “Alright,” he eventually said, “I will let it drop for now. But I am here for you, Sage. Do not forget that.”
Ugh. He was only making me feel worse. “I won’t.”
“And no more withdrawing, either,” he continued, then gestured between the babies. “Your nieces and nephews need you in their lives, too.”
Oof.
As if to punctuate the statement, Finlay stirred in my arms, stretching his tiny body and jerkily flailing his arms. His eyes opened into narrow slits and his tiny face scrunched in displeasure before he let out a loud wail.
“Aww, sweetheart,” I cooed, rocking him, “did Papa’s melodramatic ranting wake you up?"
Brandt snorted and rolled his eyes, reaching for Patrick who was also whimpering his way into wakefulness. “They’re hungry,” he told me, “and probably need to be changed as well.”
I’d done a pretty good job of avoiding most of the girls’ diaper changes to date, but it felt mean to make Brandt manage on his own when he was only two weeks post-partum and had walked all the way to my house.
Looking down at the unhappy baby in my arms, I pretended to sigh. “Well, buddy, I can take a hint. At least you’re only wet, hmm?” Reaching for the diaper bag, I waved off my brother’s attempts to get up. “You get that one fed while I deal with this little guy, and then we’ll swap.”
