“LB, you know that you don’t have to do this up here,” I say, tapping his temple, “but do you know it here?” I ask as I flatten my palm against his chest. “I’m perfectly happy with the way things are. I would even be okay if you woke up tomorrow and decided that a physical relationship was something you couldn’t offer at all. I’m in this for you, not what we do or don’t do in the bedroom.”
“Good thing we have a couch, and I hear good things about sexy times in the kitchen…” He waggles his brows at me, but I can’t let it go.
“I’m being serious, Cooper. I need to know that you’re doing this for the right reasons. I don’t ever want to be a tool you use to hurt yourself.”
Cooper
Damn this man. I fucking love him. He’s always so careful with me, but I do need this. So I need to stop hiding behind humor and open up.
I take a deep breath. “I need to do this, Teddy. What’s more, I want to do this. Other than you, the only person I’ve had sex with is my uncle. He’s the only person that has ever been inside me. That’s fucked up.”
“Sex requires consent. You did not have sex with your uncle. You were assaulted by your uncle.”
My breath catches in my throat, and I let out a sound that falls somewhere between a sob and a whine. Nobody has ever said it like that before. For so long, I’ve taken on some of the blame for what happened, but with a handful of words, Teddy has me reconsidering that. Nothing happenedbetweenme and Silas. No. Silas happenedtome. I feel a small shift in my soul that feels a lot like healing. Teddy’s arms wrap around me, and I cling to his shirt. He holds me as I piece myself back together.
“I hear you,” I finally say, leaning back so he can see that I’m serious. “And thank you for pointing out the truth that shame blinded me to. But that doesn’t change my mind about doing this. Bottoming has only ever been violent and painful for me. I need to replace those memories with something better. I need you to show me what it’s supposed to be like. I need to experience it when it’s a choice made freely. Erase his touch, Teddy, please.”
Big hands cup my face. The eye contact makes me feel vulnerable, but I refuse to look away. I want him to see all of me. My fear. My determination. My love. My lust. My trust. He stares for an eternity before his head starts to nod.
“Okay. We’ll do this, but I need you to be honest with me about how you’re feeling. I don’t want you to push yourself. You never have to force yourself to do anything, as far as I’m concerned. If anything makes you uncomfortable, we stop. Ifanything hurts, we stop. If you suddenly decide you don’t want to do this, we stop. Deal?”
“Deal,” I agree as I lean forward and press my lips to his. Heat floods my body, and I moan, still surprised by how quickly my body responds to him. I never thought I could feel like this, but everything is different with Teddy. It always has been.
Knowing it’s up to me to take the lead, I lean into him until Teddy falls onto his back. He puts his hands behind his head and stares at me, waiting to see what my next move will be. I straddle his hips and find myself distracted as I run my hands up and down his chest.God, I love his body.
The perfect amount of chest hair.
The softness of his belly.
His strong arms.
His hands break me out of my trance by sliding up my thighs. As they come to rest on my hips, I lean forward and press a small kiss to the center of his chest, a silent thank you.
Turning my head, I lick across his nipple, and his hands move further up my body until his fingers are splayed across my back. I grin evilly before biting down on the tight bud, causing him to inhale sharply. His back arches off the bed, and his hands automatically move to grip my hair. When he realizes what he’s doing, he starts to let go, but I reach up and stop his movement.
“We’re erasing his memory, remember. You can pull, just be gentle.” His mouth opens, as if to say something, but then closes before any sound escapes. His grip retightens in my hair, and he pulls me up into a soul-searing kiss. When his tongue tangles with mine, I let out a groan before pulling back to trail filthykisses down his body. By the time I make it to his navel, his chest is heaving. My tongue glides across his right hip before I bite down on one of his sexy-as-fuck love handles. The sound he makes fills me with pride. I did that. I’m bringing this giant of a man to his knees with just my mouth. I kiss across his pelvis, repeating my actions on his left side.
“I want to taste you, but I need you to stay still,” I say with only a slight waver in my voice. “You can’t touch my head. Not during this.”
“You’re in control here, LB. Whatever you say, I’ll do.”
I settle comfortably between his legs before reaching out. My grip is tentative at first. Unsure. But like a moth to a flame, I’m drawn in by the heat pouring off of him. Readjusting, I tighten my hold. I gently run my fingers down his length, enjoying the feel of the soft skin there. He’s strung tighter than a bowstring at this point. Deciding to be merciful, I lean forward and lick at his tip, and Teddy grips a handful of the sheets as my tongue circles his head and then undulates against the sensitive bundle of nerves underneath. When my mouth briefly surrounds his head, he moans needily, and his stomach muscles clench when I withdraw. His hands jerk, but he never releases the sheets.
“Good boy.” The words escape without any conscious thought from me. I’m about to apologize, but the flush that spreads across his body and the way his cock jumps in my hand makes me pause.Interesting.I lick my way back up his chest before settling on his lap. I roll my hips grinding against his hardness just once before I lean down and whisper in his ear. “Do you like being a good boy?”
If the high-pitched moan clawing at his throat wasn’t enough to let me know how much he likes it, the sudden iron grip on my hips and the wetness I feel against my ass certainly would be. The “yes” he lets out sounds reluctant, but his hips thrustingagainst me tell a different story. I bite his neck hard, and his movements stop. “Good boys don’t move until they’re told to.”
Teddy is full-on panting now. “Yes, sir,” he gasps out, followed by a desperate “please.” This time, my cock is the one jerking. His nails dig into my back, and I don’t hate it. Still, I pry his hands off my body and press them into the mattress above his head. “Stay.”
Moving quickly, I’m back down his body with his cock pressing against the back of my throat before he even has time to formulate a response. I pull off almost completely and then slowly inch my way back down. His muscles are taut, straining not to move, and I continue to torture him by alternating my pace between fast and hard and slow and steady. The sound of straining fabric infiltrates the fog of lust in my brain, and I know Teddy is reaching his limit.
Pulling off, I look up and become aware of his heated gaze locked on my face. “You’re doing so well,” I purr. “You didn’t move a single inch. I think you deserve a reward. Don’t you?”
He unlocks his jaw, but all that comes out is a sob. I shoot him my best smirk before tilting his hips up. Confusion flashes in his eyes for a brief second, but then my tongue flashes out, wetting his hole, and those blue orbs lose focus, all rational thought disappearing.
My lips close against his pucker, and I suck while simultaneously applying pressure with my tongue, making him cry out. Before his excitement can push him over the edge, I release his hips and sit back on my calves. When he’s come down enough to notice I’m no longer touching him, his eyes clear, then focus on mine. I hold his stare as I put two fingers in my mouth, and he bites his lip before spreading his legs open wider. My wet fingers lazily circle his rim, loosening him up. When my first finger enters him, he jolts.
“Wait!” he cries out, and I immediately freeze. “Nothing’s wrong, babe. I…” he pants. “I just need a minute. I’m so close, and I don’t want to come like this.” My confidence grows, replacing my fears about having done something wrong. My finger stills, but I gently brush my thumb across his rim until he nods, letting me know it’s okay to continue.
