My fork clanged against the plate and I set it down, my hands trembling too badly for me to use it.
Alec’s dark gaze continued to burn into mine. “Ever since we kissed that first night here, I can’t stop thinking of you. You’re so sexy, Tally, but you’re more than that. You’re sweet and smart and more kind than most people deserve, but you don’t let people walk all over you either.”
I hid my hands beneath the table, resting them on my thighs. All words had deserted me and I just had to hope that Alec was happy to maintain a one-sided conversation.
“I think…” He swallowed, his throat bobbling. “I don’t want to pretend anymore. I want to be with you for real.”
I tugged at the bottom of my ear lobe, as if doing so might change the words I was hearing. I drew in a slow breath and looked down at my croissant, the chocolate forming a mess on the plate that now appealed about as much as eating ash.
In a way, Alec was voicing a dream I’d never dared to hope for, but being faced with the possibility of my fantasy becomingreal was scarier than I ever could have imagined. What if he was just being impulsive and changed his mind when he realized he wasn’t actually interested in me romantically?
“Are you sure?” I asked cautiously.
“What do you mean?” He almost sounded offended.
I rubbed my lips together, hoping he wouldn’t take this the wrong way. “We kissed, and it was nice.”
“Nice?” His eyes narrowed. “It was incredible.”
“Okay,” I allowed. “It was incredible. But it’s been a long time since you had sex—unless you’re keeping things from me—so maybe that’s all you really want? It would make sense if you’re lonely and latched onto me because I’m here and familiar and comfortable.”
A groove formed between Alec’s eyebrows. “Did you just try to mansplain my feelings to me?”
I opened my mouth, a protest on my tongue, but then snapped it shut.
Well, damn. I guess I had.
“I’m sorry,” I said weakly.
He nodded, as if this was his due. “I know how I feel, Tally. I’ve had blue balls plenty of times before. That’s not what this is. It’s taken a while to get my head around it, but the truth is, I want you, and not just for a fling. When I look into the future, the only person I can imagine sharing it with is you.”
My heart thumped erratically. “Me?”
“Yeah.” He offered me a tentative smile. “You’re my person. Who else would I want?”
I hesitated, desperate to leap on his offer before he changed his mind, but the very fact I worried he might decide he didn’t want me after all was enough to make me pause.
I pushed my plate aside. “We’ve been really good friends, but we can’t be sure there’s enough chemistry between us for our relationship to be more than that.”
What would happen if we tried it, realized we weren’t physically compatible for some reason, and ruined our friendship in the process?
I couldn’t lose him. He meant too much to me.
Alec snorted. “After that kiss we shared, there’s no way you can doubt our chemistry. It was hot.”
Desire heated my core at the memory. The spark between us really had been brilliant.
“I don’t want to push you,” he continued, his tone gentling. “Especially not when you only just got out of a relationship and you’re still hurting from his betrayal.”
“I can’t lie and say it hasn’t made me more hesitant.”
His gaze turned sad. “I know, baby. But I’ll never hurt you like that, and I’m prepared to wait for as long as it takes if you think there’s even a chance that we could have a happy relationship.”
I searched my mind for an answer, but it was frustratingly blank. I wanted to say yes, but was that the smart decision? I was so twisted in knots that I couldn’t tell.
“Don’t rush,” he said, but there was a flicker of hurt in his eyes, and I knew he must have hoped that I’d be more excited to jump into a relationship than this.
Guilt twisted my gut. I didn’t want to hurt him. And honestly, I did want to be with him. I was just afraid to make that jump, and I didn’t know what to say to make him understand me without causing him pain or doubt.
