No, Cami. I straighten and give myself a pep talk.
You can do this. Ignore him. You’ve been managing for years now. Get back out there and tick off Item #1 on The List.
I retrieve my phone from my purse and navigate to the document where I saved the list of things I’ve always wanted to do but missed out on because Karson undermined my confidence or made me feel foolish for even contemplating them. I set my jaw. I’ve always looked up to my brother, even if he’s a bit arrogant, but now I feel like my blinders have been ripped off and I can see him for what he is: a hypocrite and a cheat. The antithesis of Leo Delaney, and the kind of man I’m ashamed to have given up so much for.
I scan the list.
1. Have a mind-blowing kiss.
2. Get a tattoo.
3. Make a friend.
4. Go ziplining.
5. Pitch my designs to a clothing line.
I return the phone to my purse and grab my lipstick, then leave the cubicle and use the mirror to reapply it. I have a habit of gnawing all the color off my lip when I’m anxious, so they’re pretty much bare.
Tonight doesn’t have to be a total loss. I came here to kiss Tony, and I intend to see it through. The sexy Italian-American fighter isn’t the man I’d most like to kiss—Leo holds that position—but he’s a flirt and, unlike Leo, he’s actually shown interest in me. Given he’s a playboy, I figure he knows how to kiss a woman. I place the lipstick in my purse, check my reflection one last time, and walk back into the noisy nightclub.
The base pounds through my body as I search for Tony. Eventually, I spot him and groan. It seems my would-be kisser has already found another playmate for the night. He’s locked at the lips and hips with a curvy brunette who has angel wings tattooed on her back. Seeing the couple together doesn’t hurt me. I’m not emotionally invested in Tony. It’s just frustrating because I really want someone to kiss the hell out of me. I’ve been kissed before, but nothing earth-shattering. Not like what they write love songs about. I want the whole experience, and if not for my altercation with those men, and the following interaction with Leo, I might have been the one swaying with Tony on the dance floor.
I turn away and head for the exit, brushing off the hands of a man who tries to pull me into a dance. I may want to be kissed, but I’m not desperate. I have a plan. I’ve chosen Tony because he’s perfect for the job. I’ll just have to try again tomorrow. As I slip through the exit and into the cooler night air, I mutter to myself about men who think they know what’s best for me. Story of my goddamn life.
2
Camile
I wake feeling more refreshed than I’d like. I’ve had a lifetime of being quiet, sensible Cami, who lives in the shadow of Karson Hayes. Last night, I’d hoped for more. I wanted to do something for me. Something that would shock the hell out of my twin brother and make him give me that disapproving look that always stopped me in the past.
It won’t stop me any longer.
I didn’t get my adventure yesterday, so I’ll just have to chase it today. Tony is hosting an afternoon party at his place for people associated with his new gym, Crown MMA, to debrief. I know he won’t turn me away if I show up, even though I don’t technically have an invitation. He’s too kind for that. Of course, if I go to the party, there’s a chance I’ll run into Leo again, but I’ve let fear dictate too much of my life already. No matter how nervous I am about the possibility of seeing him, I won’t let it hold me back.
I get out of bed, make breakfast, and spend the morning working on my designs. I’m employed by a boutique for plus-size women, but my greatest passion is the designs I make in my own time. I have dozens of different styles sketched out, but I’ve never been brave enough to show anyone. Not even Karson or my parents. My brother has always been the talented one, the famous one, the good-looking one. Design is the only thing I have that’s just mine, and if one of them laughed or told me I wasn’t good enough, I don’t think I’d recover.
But Iamgood. I know it. Or at least, I’m decent enough not to be laughed out the door if I pitch my designs to a clothing company. I just need to work up the nerve to do it. Sharing my designs terrifies me, hence why it’s the last thing on my list. I’ll have to build up the confidence for it.
After fixing a burrito for lunch, I shower and start primping. I choose a gorgeous pink lipstick and pair it with a dress of the same color that drapes over my shoulders, plunges at the cleavage, and gently caresses my curves as it falls to my knees. It’s one of my favorites. I designed it myself but had someone else make it, since sewing isn’t my strong point. I can get by in a pinch, but artistic vision is more my thing than the nitty-gritty of stitching and adding buttons or zips.
I dust on a little blush, apply mascara, curl my hair, and smile in the mirror. Perhaps I won’t ever look like a model, but I’m pretty enough for men who like their girls on the bigger side. I check the time and decide it’s late enough for the party to be in full swing. Thankfully, most people shouldn’t notice when I turn up.
I drive to Tony’s home, a modern building in a wealthy area of town with big glass windows and a terrace overlooking a sprawling lawn. He makes good money, although Karson makes more. Or at least, he used to. This arrest has the potential to destroy his career. I park down the street because the roadside is clogged with shiny new vehicles, and make my way down. I feel self-conscious strolling up his front path by myself. Several people I don’t recognize look at me strangely. Across the lawn, I lock eyes with Lena LaFontaine, Karson’s ex, who is standing with three other women. I’ve seen two of them at fight events before—a stunning black woman and an athletic blonde with a dangerous scowl—but the third, a pregnant brunette, isn’t familiar. I hold Lena’s gaze, sucking in a breath as I wait to see whether she’ll make a fuss about my presence. I didn’t spend much time with her while she dated Karson, and I’m not sure why they broke up, but my newly cynical side tells me he probably mistreated her. I offer her a small smile, and her icy blue eyes narrow, but then she lifts one shoulder and looks away, dismissing me. I relax. I can handle a casual dismissal. Perhaps this will be okay after all.
“Cami!”
I turn at the sound of my name. Tony is making his way toward me, smiling widely. When he reaches me, he bends to kiss my cheek. His lips are warm as they ghost over my skin, but no tingles erupt. I don’t feel the urge to swoon.
Damn.
“It’s good to see you,bellissima.” The corners of his dark eyes crinkle, and a lock of hair hangs free from the tie that’s holding the rest of it at the nape of his neck. “It’s been too long.”
“Hi, Tony.” I return his smile and remind myself of my mission. “Good win last night.”
He beams. “You were there?”
“Aren’t I always?”
