“He’s nothing,” she says. “Just a pathetic little man who has to act like the big guy to feel important.”
My breath rattles between my teeth. “You’re right.”
“He probably never left Cedar Bend and now he has a sad life where he tells people you’re his brother because it makes him look famous. He’s nothing, and you’re everything, so please don’t let him get to you.”
I stare at my girl. How’d she get so smart? And what did I do to deserve her? I haul her against my chest and wrap my arms around her, resting my cheek on the top of her head. I’m a shadow engulfing her light, but she seems to like it that way. She sighs contentedly and goes languid, trusting me to support her. My heart expands.
“I’m not everything,” I tell her, pulling back enough that I can see her face. “You are.” I kiss her, gentle and sweet, pouring every bit of emotion I have into it. When I pull back, I summon my courage. “I love you, Ash.” Her eyes widen, but I hold a finger to her lips. “I love you, and I don’t want anything to be lost in communication. Don’t say it back now because I don’t want to wonder if you’re only saying it because I did. Say it when it feels right.” My lips brush over hers again, and for a brief moment, everything is good in the universe. “I love you.”
Ashlin
Hours later, as the family gathers for dinner, I’m still reeling from Seth’s confession.
He loves me?
When I first approached him with my plan to have a baby, I’d never have guessed we’d end up here. I should have paid more attention when my friends warned me he still had feelings for me. But even though it wasn’t part of the plan, I’m happy. He makes me believe we can have our happily ever after the second time around, whether it includes a baby or not. Of course, I’ll be ecstatic if IVF works or if we get pregnant the old-fashioned way, but even just the idea of having Seth in my life makes me look forward to the future. Giving birth isn’t everything. I want the full pregnancy experience, but if I can’t have it, I’ll settle for adopting a child in need.
I take my seat at the table, aware of Seth’s big presence beside me. Harley has seated herself at the end nearest him, while Devon is at the other end, putting Mae and Rick opposite us. As we get settled, I can’t help but wonder if this wonderful glowy feeling inside of me is why none of the sperm donors I checked out appealed. Maybe, on some level, I wanted Seth back, and knew I was emotionally ready to do it. My subconscious may have been leading me to this very moment.
“So, how did you spend your day?” Mae asks Seth as she digs a fork into the mound of spaghetti bolognese on her plate. Rick cooked for us all tonight, and if this meal is anything to go by, Mae is a lucky woman. It’s better than any I’ve ever made. Still, my stomach rolls. It’s been unsettled all day and I hope it doesn’t get worse because I’d hate for Rick to think it’s his bolognese that’s made me unwell.
“I took Ash past our old place, and down to the park, then we dropped by the gym.”
He leaves out the part where we parked at the local hookup point and made out like teenagers. I hide a smile at the thought. If not for another car arriving, I’d have been ready to ride him in the back seat.
“How’s Don doing?” Rick asks. “I haven’t seen him in a while.”
I hold my breath, hoping Seth won’t take this as another opportunity to start quizzing his mom’s boyfriend.
Seth frowns. “You know Don?”
Rick raises an eyebrow. “This is Cedar Bend. Everyone knows everyone.”
Seth inclines his head. “Fair point.”
Then Rick breaks into a smile. “He taught me to box.”
This time, everyone stops to stare at him.
“You box?” Harley’s voice is heavy with disbelief, and I don’t blame her. The guy wears a suit like he was born in it. But then, she should know better than to judge people by appearances.
He shrugs. “Only for a charity match. That’s where I met your mother. She’d brought a pair of signed gloves to donate to the auction.”
“I remember that,” Seth murmurs. “She asked me to sign them, but I didn’t know what they were for.”
“To support local at-risk youth.” Mae blushes as she speaks. “I didn’t mention it because I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about it.” She raises her chin. “It’s an important cause.”
“It is.”
I glance at Seth, worried by his tone. He’s looking at her as though he’s never seen her before. Beneath the table, I place my hand on his thigh. He glances at me, and gives me a slight nod as though to assure me everything is all right.
“I’m glad you did.” He turns back to Rick. “Did you win?”
“Sure did.” He grins proudly. “I’ve got no desire to go back for a second try though. Once was enough for me.” He scans the table. “I don’t know how all of you do it. I was exhausted by the end of the second round.”
“It’s our job,” Harley says. “We have far more time to train than you probably did.”
“Plus we’re all crazy,” Devon adds, and I laugh.
