She extricates her hand, exhales long and slow, then drags both palms down her face. “I know that,” she says, her voice small. “Logically, I do, but try telling it to my subconscious. I mean, we’d never talked about marrying or anything because I tend not to look too far into the future, but he was a constant in my world for years and then all of a sudden he dropped me like a bad habit and told me everything I’d believed was a lie.”
Her lips pinch together, then she forces them to relax before she continues. “So, I guess what I’m saying is that my heart is bruised, and I’m having a hard time trusting this attraction between us. Add that to the fact I’ve moved halfway across the world and started at a new gym… it just feels like everything is up in the air. Seth is my constant. My familiar person amid all the changes. The only thing he asked of me was not to hook up with anyone from the gym. He doesn’t want drama. And I don’t want to piss him off if nothing is going to come of this.” She gestures between us. “I need a little time to trust in our connection before we tell everyone.”
Seth isn’t the only person she has. I’m here for her too, and I won’t let her down. But I can see where she’s coming from, and if a little time is all she needs to let the ground firm beneath her feet, I can give her that. Just not indefinitely.
“You wouldn’t lose him, Harls. He loves you. But okay, we don’t have to say anything—yet. But as soon as you feel comfortable with us, we come clean. No more secrets.”
Her eyes shine with relief as she nods. “Thanks, Dev.” She drops a single kiss on my lips. “I appreciate you being so understanding. I know I can be hard to deal with.”
I smile. “You’re worth it.” And it’s my job to show her that, so she’ll be happy to open up and believe in what we have. I nod toward the bar. “Let’s head back inside.” I reach for her hand, then stop short, reminding myself it’s not something I’m allowed to do. Gritting my teeth, I acknowledge that keeping my feelings on the down low is going to be a challenge. I’m not a secretive guy. I wear my emotions on my sleeve, and that’s how I like it. But for the sake of her bruised heart, I can rein it in for a while.
The rest of the night is torture. I deserve a gold medal for not having my hands all over her. I even keep my distance as we say goodbye at the end of the night. Now that I know she wants me, I can be patient. I don’t need to tempt her the way I did previously. If I were to travel that route, I might scare her off. Make her feel pressured. Instead, I just wish for her to change her mind, say ‘to hell with it’, and come home with me. But she doesn’t. The others are still around when we part ways, so I don’t say anything, just hold her gaze and will her to understand what I’ve already come to terms with.
We’re meant for each other.
Touching her feels like coming home. And yeah, maybe relationships are a new concept for me, but my heart knows what it wants, and it hasn’t steered me wrong yet.
In my apartment, I strip off my clothes, brush my teeth, and flop onto the bed. I close my eyes, but I’m too wired to sleep. I need to let off some steam. My hand trails over my abs and down to my dick. All it takes is the memory of Harley’s skin, smooth and silky, and I’m hard. I stroke myself once, then twice, wondering if beating off is going to be a common occurrence with her in my life. If it is, I can live with that. Rubbing myself raw is better than rushing her into something she’s not ready for. Closing my eyes, I picture her delicate pink lips.
Oh, yeah. They’d feel really good around me.
In my fantasy, she takes me into her mouth. I thrust into my hand, and my thoughts are so foggy, it’s amazing I hear it.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
My heart leaps to my throat and I drop my cock like it’s burned me. Someone is at my door.
ChapterTen
Harley
I’m not an impulsive person. Let’s just put that out there. But when I’m finally alone, and I’m left facing a long night with no physical outlet, I can’t handle it. I message Sydney to ask for an address—because I trust her to stay quiet—then I get an Uber to Devon’s apartment. Now, standing outside, I hope I haven’t made a mistake. But the way he responded to me earlier has turned everything on its head. He was so sweet. So real. Maybe Devon isn’t the guy I thought he was, and maybe I’m not the woman I believed myself to be because I sure as fuck don’t want to wake up in twenty years, bitter and alone. I’m not stupid; I know the attraction between us isn’t likely to lead to anything permanent, but if I don’t explore it, then that’s a certainty. If I give it a chance… well, who knows where it might go?
The door swings open to reveal the most gorgeous half-naked male I’ve ever had the fortune to set eyes on. My gaze slides over his bulging upper arms and follows deep brown ripples of muscle from his ribs to the waistband of his gray sweatpants. I’m about to shift my attention to his face when it catches on the prominent tent being pitched in the front of his pants. Holy shit. Is that what I think it is?
I mean, duh. How could it possibly be anything else? But my brain is struggling to work, too distracted by his very sizable bulge.
I bet he’s going commando under there.
The errant thought pops into my head and I try to dismiss it. A masculine chuckle breaks my appreciation of his barely concealed package.
“Much as I love the way you’re looking at me, do you think you could make eye contact? Might make me feel less like a piece of meat.”
“Oh,” I breathe, snapping my eyes to meet his, a guilty flush working its way down my neck. Unfortunately, with my coloring, I blush easily. “I’m so sorry.”
“Uh-huh.” He gives me a cocky smirk that I can’t even feel annoyed about because I was checking him out, and he knows it. “I can put on a shirt if it helps.”
“No!” A burst of panic jolts me into motion and I take a step forward. “Keep it off.” He grins, and I bury my face in my hands. “Oh my God, this is not going the way I planned.” I’d hoped to be smoother and more seductive, but instead my typical awkwardness in intimate situations is leaping to the fore. I’m great with guys, as long as I’m not interested in them or have no intention of acting on interest if it exists. As soon as I open myself to possibilities,hellofoot in mouth. That’s why I kissed him earlier with no prequel. Much easier than slowing down to talk.
“What I meant to say,” I continue, desperate to save myself from ridicule, “is that I’d rather you take off more clothes than add them back on.”
His lips twitch and his eyes sparkle. Did I make it better, or worse? I can’t tell. Moving aside, he gestures me in. Out of habit, I remove my shoes before entering.
“Can I get you a drink?” he asks.
“Only if the drink is out of your navel.” Dear God, I officially made it worse.
A full-blown laugh gusts from him and I could swear it echoes in the space around us. Despite my growing humiliation, I laugh too because the sound of his is infectious. He’s one of those people who sets the vibe for the room, and with just the two of us here, it’s easy to be carried away by the rich melody of his amusement.
