She cocks her head. “What if that’s all I want?”
“Nuh-uh.” I step away from her. “You and me aren’t a one-and-done kind of deal, and I think you know that.”
“So you don’t want to have sex,” she clarifies, and my cock twitches from hearing the word “sex” emerge from between her well-kissed lips.
“Hey, now, I didn’t say that.” I hold up my hands, grinning. “Don’t get carried away. I was thinking we could head back to my place. Unless there are more fights you want to watch?”
She grimaces. “Two more. But maybe that’s just as well.” Her haze of lust seems to be wearing off. “If we left, the others would know what we’ve been doing.”
“And?”
“While I want to be with you, and I know this is a crappy thing to ask, could we keep it quiet, at least for a little while?”
My heart sinks. She wants me to be her secret? Honestly, that hurts. I’d happily march back in there and announce to the entire bar that I just kissed her in the alley, and then I’d get on my phone and tell Seth I want to date his little sister. But the look she’s giving me makes me think that would be a very bad idea.
“Are you ashamed of me?” I demand. My fingers are growing cold and I curl them into my palms to warm them. “Is this because I’m black?”
“No!” She looks stricken, and places her hands on my chest, directly over my beating heart. “Not at all. I promise, that’s not it, and I’m so sorry for even prompting you to question that. The color of your skin has zero impact on how I feel about you, just as I hope mine doesn’t affect the way you feel about me.”
“What is it then?” I implore, because I’m starting to get a prickle at the back of my neck that warns me bad things are coming.
“I just…” She sighs, then buries her face in her hands and growls. When she looks back up, that vulnerability has returned to her expression. “There are two reasons, but I need to explain something to you, so you’ll understand. Something no one else knows.”
“I won’t tell anyone.” My voice is soft. “I promise.” Whatever she’s about to say, it’s serious enough to get in the way of our budding relationship, and I won’t betray her trust by revealing it to another person.
“I’ve had a lot of upheaval lately.” She steps back and visibly steels herself. “My last coach, Thaklaew, asked me to throw a fight. I didn’t, and he kicked me out of his gym. That’s why I came here.”
My intake of breath seems to echo around the alley. I’ve heard of people fixing fights. It’s something we all know goes on from time to time, but it’s never happened to any of my friends and the idea of her being kicked out of a gym she’d lived at for years because she wouldn’t go along with it is awful. Those places become your home. Your family. I can’t even fathom the idea of being barred from Crown MMA Gym. My training buddies—and even grumpy Seth—are my brothers. It’s the first place I’ve ever truly fit in. The only place I belong.
“I’m so sorry.” I wish I could take her in my arms to comfort her, but she doesn’t look like she’d welcome it. “I’m not sure what that has to do with us, though.”
I wait while emotions play across her face. I get the feeling she’s struggling internally.
“The thing is,” she says eventually, “Thaklaew wasn’t only my coach.”
“Oh?” My grip tightens on hers. I hadn’t been expecting that.
“He and I were…together. Had been for a couple of years.”
“Wait. Hold on. Let me get this straight. Your coach, who was also your boyfriend, asked you to throw a fight, and when you didn’t, he kicked you out?”
“But wait,” she says dryly. “There’s more.”
My stomach bottoms out. Whatever is coming, it can’t be good.
“He was mad as hell when I refused to go along with his plan and admitted that he’d been cheating on me for most of our relationship.”
Oh, fuck. Poor Harley. That guy is a monumental idiot. What kind of man wouldn’t treasure a woman like her?
“With who?” I ask.
“Lots of different girls.” She holds my gaze but it seems difficult for her. “Apparently, he liked the idea of spending his life with me because of our shared interests, but what we didn’t share was his desire to get some action on the side. I had no clue. When he ended things, he made sure to tell me all of the reasons I hadn’t been enough to keep him from sticking his dick in someone else.”
My jaw tightens. “What an ass. Blaming you for his shitty behavior.”
“Yeah. Gaslighting at its finest.”
I can tell she doesn’t completely believe it. I take her hand and squeeze it. “I’m sorry you went through that. It’s a crappy thing to have happen. But trust me, his actions say more about him than they do about you.”
