I nod. That’s what I’d expected, and it’s what I discussed with the bail bondsman. I’m not worried about paying, because I know Jase can pay me back tenfold. Even if he couldn’t, I’d still bust him out. I pay the fee, sign some papers, and I’m led to a waiting area while a uniformed officer—who seems disappointed by my presence—leaves to collect Jase.
I can’t sit still while I wait. I’m too fidgety and impatient. So I go over to the window and lean against it as I search my phone to see how many articles have reported the arrest, and also how many mention me personally. I scroll through pages of headlines and photos—my social life made visible to the entire world. God, it makes me sick to think what will happen to my career now. Everything I’ve worked so hard for, flushed down the toilet. Every hospital pass I took from a colleague means nothing. As far as the greater population is concerned, I’m just the girl stupid enough to jeopardize everything to screw Jase Rawlins.
The thing they don’t realize?
He’s worth it.
Several minutes pass before the officer brings Jase to me. Racing over, I throw my arms around him, not caring who sees. He squeezes me back and buries his face in the crook of my neck. He’s dressed in his gym clothes and smells like old sweat, but I don’t care. He draws back, his gaze skimming my face and then down my body as if checking I’m all in one piece. Finally, his eyes meet mine. They’re shuttered and cold, and I can’t help but flinch away from him.
“You bailed me out,” he rumbles in a low, soft voice.
“Of course I did.” I rest my hands on his slim hips, but he steps away and they drop to my sides. An icy sense of dread prickles in a corner of my mind. “What’s wrong, Jase?”
His hands become fists, and he looks out the window, avoiding eye contact. “You shouldn’t have. You should have just left me here.”
My pulse kicks up a notch. What is he talking about? Why on earth would I do that?
“I couldn’t stand the thought of you squished into a cell like an animal, and your championship fight is this week. You need to train.” My lips purse. “I thought you’d be happy.”
He glances over my shoulder, scowls at someone, then drags me outside. On the street, he raises a hand to ward off a photographer and takes me into an alley, at which point I dig in my heels. I’ve hit my limit on the amount of random bullshit I can handle today.
“What the hell is going on in your head?” I demand.
Running a hand through his hair, Jase clacks his teeth together so loudly I can hear them. “I’ll pay you back whatever it cost to get me out, but after that, you need to leave me alone.”
My heart stops. “I beg your pardon?”
“Baby.” He takes a shaky breath. “Lena.” He reaches for my hands, but I yank them away and back up into a wall.
“Don’t touch me until you explain yourself.”
Raw despair makes his features harsh. “Cutie pie, you’re not seeing things clearly.”
Well, that’s condescending as fuck. “I’m seeing things perfectly clearly,” I snap back.
“No,” he grits out. “You’re not.” He starts to move closer, then stops himself. “This is so hard. But here it is: I’m bad for you. If I didn’t know it already, the proof is all over the internet. I’m dragging you down with me, and I can’t live with that.”
I sigh, impatient. “You’re not dragging me down. I chose you, asshole.”
“And I’m choosing not to be the reason your life is ruined,” he replies.
Seriously, it’s like arguing with a brick wall.
“I see things more clearly than ever.” Crossing to him, I lay my palms on his chest and stare up at him, willing him to stay with me. “I’m falling in love with you, Jase.”
He goes white. Not the response I’d hoped for, although I didn’t think before opening my mouth.
“Lena, I—” His Adam’s apple bobs, and he visibly gets a hold of himself. “You’re an amazing woman,” he says, which sounds oddly like rejection, “and I can’t bear to see you be reduced because you believe in me.” Gently, he disengages my hands from his chest and puts space between us. “That’s why I’ve got to back away from you.”
He lingers, as though torn between whether to leave or stay. I want to make the decision for him, but I can also understand why he’s struggling with this. For so long he’s wanted someone to be on his side, even if he never said it, and now that he finally has me, it’s all blown up in my face. He feels responsible.
Finally, he turns and walks away. Even though I understand, his desertion crumples my knees and I gasp for breath, willing myself not to cry.
He can walk away, but that doesn’t mean I’m giving up on him. Jase can’t get rid of me that easily.
17
Lena
