I cock my head and consider talking to him about my dilemma, but this is a guy who’s one hundred percent dedicated to MMA, and he won’t understand. He’d just take the fight and try to charm Sydney into forgiving him later.
“Nothing major,” I reply, putting my phone away. Jase would be a better option to talk to because he worships the ground Lena walks on, but he’s always been more emotional than me and I’m not sure if following his lead is the best idea. So instead I keep all of the worry inside me and stew on it.
Sydney
When I arrive home from the evening shift, I collapse onto the sofa. Groaning, I kick my shoes off and knead the bottoms of my feet, which ache from being on them for hours. My stomach growls, but I can’t handle the thought of standing up again so soon, so I rummage in my work bag and dig out a protein bar. It’s dry in my mouth, but for now, it’ll have to do. My water bottle is empty, so I have nothing to wash it down with. Once I manage to swallow, I rest my head on the arm of the sofa and close my eyes. I don’t even care that I’m still dressed and haven’t brushed my teeth. I just need to sleep. Exhaustion creeps over me and I’m drifting in that peaceful state between slumber and wakefulness when a shrill screech frightens me back to full consciousness.
My phone. I glare at it, then snatch up the offending device and squint at the screen. It’s Gabe again. He probably wants to talk about that fight he was offered. It’s been on my mind ever since he messaged. I know turning it down won’t have been easy for him, but surely he knows it was the best thing to do. He promised he’d be at the wedding for me, and he knows how much it means. How awful the women in my family can be.
Besides, he’s supposed to be taking it easy. Not overdoing things. I didn’t want to come right out and tell him to turn it down because I don’t want to bethatgirlfriend, but with how many reasons there arenotto do it, I’m confident he’ll have made the right choice. Ricky DeSilva is no challenge for him anyway. Been there, done that. Why bother facing him again? I mean, if it had been years, sure, but Gabe faced him only a few months ago.
Sighing, I hit answer. “Hi, Gabe.”
“Hey.” His voice is strained, and I sit up straighter. “Did I wake you?”
“Yeah, kinda, but it’s okay.” Why did I say that? My sleep is valuable. But then, I suppose if he’s calling now, it must be important. He knows I need rest after a shift like the one I just did.
“Can we talk about the fight?”
Knew it. “Sure thing.”
“What do you want me to do about it?”
I press a hand to my abdomen, my heart shrinking in my chest. If he’s asking me, it means he hasn’t turned it down. And that means, despite everything, he wants to do it. But honestly, what does he expect me to say? No, you can’t? You should go to the wedding with me like you promised you would?
That’s not the kind of person I am. Much as I hate it, I want him to do whatever makes him happy. I just wish that were something with me. Because let’s be real, if he can’t even survive a couple of weeks as part of a functioning couple, what future do we have?
And that’s not mentioning his health. I know he thinks he’s fine, but he’s in a precarious place, and needlessly taking on something as intense as this will be hard for him.
Ugh, I’m too tired to deal with this crap.
“What do you want to do?” I ask, because I’m not letting him make me the villain here.
“Well,” he says slowly, as though trying to hedge his bets, “it’s a great opportunity, and if I got the fight shifted to earlier in the evening, I might be able to make it for some of the wedding.”
Sighing, I yank a hand through my hair. He’s trying, I’ll give him that. He’s been trying for the past couple weeks, and except for being late once or twice, everything is going really well. But some contrary part of me doesn’t want to make this easy for him. I want him to prove he took it seriously when he promised to give us a proper chance. I want him to prioritize something other than MMA and living out his Dad’s dream.
“I already RSVP’d for dinner at the reception. Do you think you could make it by then?”
His silence is answer enough. Of course he couldn’t. These events often don’t begin until after dark and they’re not going to risk putting him on too early in the night in case people miss out.
“Syd—”
“No,” I interrupt, frustrated both with myself and with him. Why did I ever think he could change? I shake my head. If he wants an easy out, then he came to the wrong place. “You told me you’d be there. Are you seriously going to blow me off for a rematch against a guy we both know you can destroy?”
“That’s not what I’m doing. I need to get my mojo back, and it’s just one night.”
I hate how calm he sounds, and his words are like a spear to the gut.Just one night? Does he truly not understand how much his support would mean to me? It may be only one night, but it’s rare that I’m forced to spend time with my family. And okay, it’s not like they’re evil, but they just don’tgetme, and when I’m around them, I feel small and insignificant.
Suddenly, I’m weary, and just so fucking tired of being put on hold. My head is pounding and I need to sleep. “It’s more than that, and you know it. But if you feel like you need this fight, then don’t let me stop you. Just do it. We both know you’ll make the decision you think will make Tomas happy, regardless of anything else. I’m sorry, but I really need to get back to sleep now.”
“Syd—”
With a forceful jab of the screen, I end the call. I’m not surprised when he rings again immediately. I reject it and send a text.
Sydney:Just do it. I’ll be fine.
After all, I always am. It isn’t the first time he’s let me down, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. I curl up and tears trickle down my cheeks, soaking into the sofa. With a trembling hand, I message Lena.
