Blake swallowed. He let Gabriel shuffle him to the bed, then take off his boots, tossing them into the dark. The room was stuffy, not quite as cold as it had been in the throes of winter. They shucked off their clothes, crawling under the covers in just their boxers.
Gabriel pulled Blake to him like a quilt, and Blake went. They twined their legs, and Blake could feel Gabriel’s body hair tickle him. It had been so strange at first. Thrilling, in a way. Like he was supposed to be touching something smooth and soft. Be the big spoon and tuck something curvy against him.
But he’d never liked that. Never craved anything until he felt Gabriel’s chest hair tickle his nose and his rough handssmoothing down his back. Never felt peace like when he fit his knees behind Blake’s and breathed on his nape.
“I don’t think I ever apologized to you,” Blake said, running his fingers down Gabriel’s ribs. “For all of the—for the way I acted when you came back. For going on that mission with Alvarez.”
“You didn’t need to.” Gabriel’s fingers found one of Blake’s curls, and he began to tug on it.
Blake thought he did. He told himself he was right. That it would save Emily’s life, and he was making some kind of noble choice by disobeying his team leader. And at the core, that’s what he had been doing, but really, he was running away. Punishing Gabriel rather than dealing with his problems head-on. Talking to Gabriel like an adult.
“I spent so long mourning the life I had. I didn’t appreciate the life I have.” He pushed himself up so he could look at Gabriel. “The happiness I’ve found. Right here. With the team.” He stroked the back of his fingers against Gabriel’s cheek. “With you.”
“I don’t know what the future will look like. I don’t even know if we have one. But I do know that...I can’t imagine a life without you. I don’t want to.”
Whether they were in a coffee shop or trauma bonding over people melting in the streets, Blake wanted Gabriel by his side. He wanted to exist together—in the good, bad, and even worse times.
“I love you, Gabriel.”
He surged up to kiss Blake. It was a messy kiss—Gabriel was smiling, and Blake’s cheeks were still wet. But they kissed like it was their first time. Like it was their last. And every kiss in between. An ever-changing conversation where not a word was spoken.
Gabriel cupped Blake’s face, and Blake slid into his lap. He could feel Gabriel’s erection, and the spike of arousal chased away the fear so completely that Blake gasped.
“Touch me,” he begged. “Tonight. Forever. Don’t stop. Don’t stop touching me.”
Gabriel tucked a stray curl behind his ear. “That I can promise.”
It wasn’t like in the back of the truck. That had been bruises and teeth and skin. It had been about their bodies. This was about their souls.
Gabriel kissed Blake breathless. He trailed his fingers over his skin until he shivered, goosebumps erupting behind his fingers like flowers chasing the sun. He touched not to tease but to love. To worship.
Their remaining clothes found places in the dark room. Nothing could come between them. Gabriel wrapped his big hands around their cocks, stroking them slowly. Calling the pleasure up like a gentle summer storm, not a hurricane. A meandering cloud filling the horizon, turning darker with every long, hot minute.
Lube found its way to Blake’s fingers. It was never far. Not when they were in bed together. He reached behind and tentatively opened himself up. It was his first time. Gabriel liked to do it. Even now, he made a soft noise of disappointment. He might have begun to beg—he’d done it before—but Blake shushed him with a low grind of his hips.
It wasn’t the easiest thing to do. Not from this position, but once he’d pressed his first finger in, passed that sensitive bundle of nerves on his rim, he sighed. Half-lidded, he began to thrust his finger in and out, curling it experimentally to see if he could replicate the way Gabriel made him feel.
Below him, Gabriel’s muscles jumped. He bit his lip, cock twitching in his big fist as he lost interest in stroking himself andfocused on Blake’s face. His eyes lingered on his slack lips, the color on his cheeks. When Blake found that sweet spot, his eyes flew open in surprise, and Gabriel’s hips bucked. Cum pearled on the tip of his throbbing cock.
Blake added another finger. Then another. It felt good, but it wasn’t what he wanted. Maybe later, on another night, he would do this. Finger himself and make Gabriel watch. Leave him desperate with twitching fingers and pleading eyes.
He stretched himself just enough, wiping excess lube on Gabriel’s cock. He steadied Blake with his hands on his hips.
“Go slow.”
“Don’t tell me what to do,” Blake breathed.
His thighs throbbed as he lined Gabriel’s cock up. It was thick in his hands. There might have been a time when that scared him. Now it only made him want.
Blake cried out when he was breached. The stretch was this side of painful. Gabriel’s fingers dug into his hips as he lowered himself. His hands flexed on Gabriel’s chest, and he had to remind himself to breathe.
His dick felt endless, but the moment he bottomed out, it feltgood.Full. He pressed a shaky hand to his belly and swore he could feel Gabriel inside him. Gabriel groaned, nails catching on Blake’s skin in a way he would feel for days.
Knees pressed to the mattress, Blake took a moment to just feel. To enjoy the satisfaction, the tingling of pleasure that grew as the ache abated. His breath hitched when Gabriel’s cock shifted inside him, his hips jerking to seek out more.
Toes scrunched in the sheets; he began to move. It was almost indolent. He took the time to feel every inch of Gabriel—from his purpled mushroom head to the throbbing veins. Even his balls pressing to his thighs, the scratch of hair against his taint. It was a symphony of sensations that took Blake out of his head.
Gabriel didn’t move. He let Blake take what he wanted, the only sign of his desire in the flexions of his muscles and his soft pants and sighs. The heat in his eyes burned hotter than any candle. He didn’t take his eyes off Blake’s face.
