“I know you can.” He smiled.
Jyuri returned moments later, holding out his hand impatiently. “Time to go.”
I slid my hand into his, and the world around me blurred. When I came back to, opening my eyes again, I was faced with the familiar sight of the Consortium. Looking at it now with my memories returned felt different. I’d dreamed of coming to this place once upon a time. Alandris had made it sound like some secret paradise tucked away in the corner of the world, and in a way, it was. He’d freed the Mages here from corruption. He’d saved this place.
I refused to be the reason it all came crashing down.
We’ll see about that, my little monster.
The blooming pain in my head was instantaneous, and I had to grind my teeth to +it without crying out. The last thing I needed to do was show my weakness right after listening to everyone worry that I’d cause a catastrophe.
“Rough trip?” Jyuri asked, releasing my hand.
“No. No, I’m fine.”
My life at the Consortium resumed as though nothing had changed in the weeks I’d been away, though in reality, everything was starkly different. I’d never considered myself a great liar, and balancing the lie of where I disappeared to, along with the lie of the ‘Nairu’ I was supposed to be, was near impossible. I wasn’t the captured pirate turned reluctant budding Mage I’d come to Nil’Faerith as. I was so much more, and it was suffocating to play pretend, but I couldn’t exactly shout the truth of my circumstances to my fellow Mages.
So for now, I assumed the role, donning the lie like a second skin. I weaved a story of a mysterious sickness that required me to return to the Elven capital, Val’Naeris, for proper treatment. This was the story I told to Luelle—and anyone else who bothered to inquire, which were few and far between.
Elle was smart enough to know there was more to the story, but she was kinder than she was smart, and she chose not to pry. Instead, she trapped me in a tight squeeze, promising to catch me up on everything I missed while I was away recovering.
I found it surprisingly nice to share a room with Elle again, simply to have a friend whose life wasn’t currently centered around saving mine. Her ignorance was a blessing. Though I loved my friends dearly, it was difficult not to feel a tinge of hurt when I looked into their eyes and found the subtle makings of fear. If not fear, pity. If not pity, worry. Elle was free of the burden of knowing I had a monster crawling beneath my skin.
I knew I sounded resentful. I hated myself for it, too.
Elle curled into my bed next to me, joining me in staring up at the ceiling, avoiding our approaching lessons. I found comfort in her shoulder pressed into mine, and in the silence between us that would normally have my mind racing. But she had that effect. Since the moment I’d met her, she’d been a kind soul. In another life, we could have been the best of friends, but as things stood now, I couldn’t afford another emotional attachment.
Elle finally spoke, her eyes still fixated above us. “How’s your head?”
I’d spent the entire night whimpering in my bed, unable to withstand the pain of Zaelos thrashing in my mind. I’d taken the peaceful silence of the Winter Court for granted. Since returning to the Consortium yesterday, nearly every moment had been a constant battle to keep him bound. When he wasn’t fighting me for control over my very limbs, he was whispering his sickness in my ears.
“It’s better,” I lied.
If she noticed the dishonesty in my tight words, she didn’t mention it. “Is that why you went to Val’Naeris? The headaches?”
Her probing surprised me, but I attributed it to her relentless thirst for knowledge. “Yes, it was part of the sickness. My headaches may persist for some time, although I’m better now. I’m sorry if it disturbs your sleep. I can see about getting a private room.”
Liar. Little liar.Laughter bubbled in the back of my mind.
I ignored it.
Truthfully, even if I requested a private room, they wouldn’t grant it, so I’d have to hope I didn’t irritate Elle enough to make her want me gone. Otherwise, our plans would be ruined. We’d decided the safest thing—aside from staying with Alandris in his room—was for me to return to my roommate. Since staying with Alandris would provoke too many questions from the other Mages, none of whom we trusted with the knowledge of what I was, we’d opted for Elle—the strongest student Mage by a long shot, she had a decent chance at stalling me or getting away if Zaelos broke me.
If she didn’t…
She chuckled, turning on her side to face me. “I’m not bothered by it, Nairu. I’m a poor sleeper, so this won’t make a difference. I spend a majority of the night studying in my head.”
That sounded like her.
I turned towards her. “Well, I’m sorry, regardless. You can wake me up next time.” I sighed, shifting onto my elbows. “We should probably get dressed and go. With all the training I missed, I’m sure I’m in for it today.”
“If it is any consolation, Quinn only seems to get worse with practice. That’s one person you won’t have trouble besting.”
That did make me feel better, even if his rudeness toward me felt like it’d occurred a thousand moons ago.
The two of us quickly dressed, pinning our jackets with the Consortium’s silver emblem—a crescent moon sitting inside a brilliant sun. I’d never considered the symbol before, but suddenly I found myself wondering about its origin. How long had the Consortium existed here on this small island? How long would it continue under Alandris’s protection?
Elle’s eyes scanned my face, and as though she could read my thoughts, she asked, “what is it you wish to accomplish throughyour training here, Nairu? Do you want to become an Arch Magus, devote your life to the Consortium?”
