Kaelias was the first to rush from the room, followed by an awkward shuffle of Makatza and me. I didn’t chase after him, and I bid Makatza a quick goodbye. Something had set Lorian off, and I wasn’t about to stick around and bug him about supplies, even if we did really need them. If what he’d told me was true, we’d have much bigger problems to worry about anyway.
The one good thing about being the ship’s substitute doctor—substitute because I’d had zero formal training and everything I’d learned was from a book—was that I no longer had to sleep in a hammock surrounded by snoring crewmates. It was the stuff of nightmares. All sorts of bodily noises and smells that shouldn’thave been possible. Sleeping on the road under the stars had been more pleasant. Animals smelled better and were quieter.
As long as no one was sick enough that they needed to be isolated, I had the infirmary room to myself. There was enough leftover space for a small pallet bed in the corner, a side table, and a mirror. I’d tried to make it my own with the few items I’d collected along our travels over the past two years. It wasn’t beautiful or luxurious, but it was home, and I wanted it to stay that way.
I kicked off my boots and unlaced my corset before sitting in front of the mirror and gazing at my reflection.
Back so soon? Did you miss me?
It was my own face that stared back at me, though not my mouth, not my words. It’d terrified me the first several times it’d happened. I’d thought I was losing my mind—and maybe I was, though I was used to it now.
“How do I get us out of this one?”
Are you taking me up on my offer, my sweet little monster? I’ve told you how powerful I could make us. We could have this entire world bowing at our feet, begging us for mercy.
“I don’t need that kind of power. I only need enough to protect the people I care about.”
You don’t trust me.
I let out a breath, but the image in front of me didn’t move. “I don’t know what you are.”
Zaelos.
“Zaelos.” I repeated the name out loud, hating the bitter taste it left on my tongue. Something about the name sucked the air from my lungs and sent a burning pain through my skull. There were flashes of images:snow, a crumbling body, an outstretched hand, darkness. I rubbed circles along the sides of my head. “That doesn’t answer what you are.”
I am you. You are me. I am tired of playing this song and dance with you.
As if I wasn’t tired of being startled every time I looked in a mirror. “What do you need me to do?”
Answer the magic that dwells within you. Stop fighting it.
“Thank you, that was so helpful.” I rolled my eyes.
I don’t like this one.The voice hissed.You’ve picked up an attitude amongst these swine. I liked you quiet.
“I like it when you’re quiet, too. The constant riddles are rather annoying. If you have something useful to say, you know where to find me.” If I had to listen to that disgusting, twisted echo of my voice for a moment longer, I was going to shatter the mirror into pieces.
I ripped my shirt off my body and threw it over the mirror. “Goodnight.”
I laid down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling as I repeated the words in my head over and over.Answer the magic that dwells within you. Stop fighting it.It was similar to what the people of my village had expected of me. They had wanted me to master my magic to honor our god. To save them.Save us. Save us, Saintess.
It danced beneath my skin—as if it knew. The one time I’d let it surface, it had stained my skin with black tendrils that had covered my fingers and curled up my wrists. The marks had been hot and painful to the touch, and all I’d had to show of it was a tiny wisp of black shadow that had faded in the next moment. I was no Mage, and I had no intention of learning how to utilize my magic if it was going to satisfy the thing in the mirror.
I didn’t know what it was. What I was. If I continued to ignore it, things could stay as they were. I could stay who I was. Who I’d grown to love to be.
Nairu. Pirate Doctor of The Pheonix Heart.
Iroused to the smell of smoke, and a familiar panic forced my muscles into motion—memories of buildings on fire, of screams, and blood flooding my mind. My heart hammered in my chest as I slid on my boots with shaking hands. A bell sounded. Once. Twice. Three times. Alarm. We were under attack.
Below deck was eerily quiet—not in the sense that there was no shouting, the slapping of boots against wood, but in the sense that there was no sound of metal clashing against metal, or cannons being loaded and fired. Hitting the ship. Missing the ship and hitting the water. Had they sounded the alarm incorrectly? Fire was two rings of the bell.
I rushed above deck to be met with a sight that had me questioning if I was awake or in a nightmare. The ship was alight with pure blue fire. Some of the crew were swinging their swords wildly at nothing at all, others were attempting to douse the flames with sea water to no avail. And when I looked out at the water, there was no ship other than our own. This was an attack, but how?
Spotting Lorian at the helm shouting orders to Kaelias and Makatza, I ran to their sides. I drew the dagger at my thigh. I’d trained with Kaelias and Lorian enough to defend myself, and as much as they hated having me down in the action, I figured our ship under supposed attack would be an exception.
“What do you need me to do?”
Lorian ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. I’d never seen him so spooked. “I don’t even understand what’s happening. Some kind of—I don’t know—creature keeps appearing out of thin air.”
