“I like you as you are.” The words slipped from my mouth before I could think them through.
That gave him pause, though he did not yield any space, nor did he look away. “So, you truly don’t hate me anymore?”
I needed to breathe. Desperately. But how could I when he was looking at me like that? “Does this look like hate?”
Alandris placed his palms against the door on either side of my head, closed his eyes, and let out a deep breath. “Fuck. This might be the worst decision I make.”
And then his lips were on mine. And mine were on his. And I didn’t fight it when he wrapped a hand around the back of my neck and pulled me closer, the other gripping my waist like an anchor. I welcomed it. Returned it in the form of fingers twisted into the back of his shirt. Because I needed something to keep me standing on two feet with the way his touch was making my body limp. Because ‘fuck’ was right. This was, in fact, a fucking mistake, and I didn’t care at all.
It was a mistake when I jumped into his arms, wrapping my legs around his hips and my arms around his neck. And it was a mistake when I let him carry me over to his desk, his lips never leaving mine for more than a breath.
Being a failure had never felt so good.
Books and stacks of papers crashed to the floor, swept away by hands too eager to make space to care about the mess. He laid me down on the wood and I propped myself up on my elbows, looking up at him properly for the first time. Pupils blown wide with desire stared back at me. But there was a hesitancy there in his eyes. Something was still holding him back from indulging in what we both clearly wanted.
“You don’t want to?” I asked.
Alandris seemed almost offended by the question. “I want to. There is nothing I want more.” Yet he didn’t move, and that uncertainty still swam in his eyes.
I sat up fully, gripping the edge of the desk. “Then show me.”
Whatever my challenge had evoked in him had successfully shattered his self-control. He shoved his way between my legs, pulling me by my hips to the edge of the desk until I pressed against him. Taking my hand in his, he trailed kisses from the tips of my fingers up to my collarbone, where he sunk his teeth into the tender flesh before running his tongue over it.
His mouth had moved to my neck when I felt it.
Agony.
You might be surprised the number of things I would do for you.
Images flashed in my mind, dizzying me. Alandris and I in some sort of cave. My shaky hands stitching up a wound below his ribs. A bright smile lighting his face, one I’d never seen before. Each subsequent image sent another lash of pain through my skull until I couldn’t stop myself from crying out in pain.
Alandris froze, pulling himself away from me. “Nairu?”
I gripped the sides of my head, sucking in a labored breath. “It’s just a headache.”
“Like what happened when we were training…. It’s getting worse.” He stepped back, but kept a hand clasped over my own. “But Jyuri gave you the potion. How are you still hearing Zaelos’ voice?”
I winced. “I didn’t hear his voice. I heard yours… I think. I saw you.”
Alandris stepped further back, his hands planted to his side. The warmth of his touch vanished in an instant, leaving only cold cruelty that melted into his features and the tone of his voice. “That isn’t possible.”
The sudden shift was a shock to my system. “I—I don’t know why.”
“You need to leave.”
“What? What are you—”
“Now. Go.” He turned his back to me, allowing no further argument.
Not that I’d planned to. At least with his back turned, he couldn’t see the shameful embarrassment of rejection tinging my cheeks red, nor the way I had to smooth out my ruffled clothes as I hopped down from his desk. I carefully stepped around the fallen books and papers, quietly as possible, making my way towards the door. My head was still throbbing, but it wasnothing compared to how he’d made me feel. The moment the door to his room closed behind me, I ran down the hallway and out of his quarters entirely.
I kept my head down on my way back to my room, cursing him the entire way. It shouldn’t have been a surprise that I ran face first into a wall, except this wall was squishy, and upon further inspection, female.
Zorinna braced my shoulders to steady me and raised her brows. “You look like shit.”
“Thanks.”
“Want to talk about it?”
