“Wait,” I said, throwing my hands up in front of me. “That name- Amorphael. I heard that name in my dream, too. Zaelos said everything he’d done was for her.”
That got their attention. Alandris’ head snapped to me. “What?”
“It was a very odd dream. I was in some sort of black void with Zaelos. I could tell it was him the moment I saw him. Something inside of me recognized him, even though I’m sure I’ve never seen his true form before. I would’ve remembered someone—or something—that looked like that.”
“Go on,” Alandris urged.
“He said that he’d attempted to raise his station amongst the Fae for her sake. I think he loved her, but,”—I frowned—“he could never be with her. After he betrayed his kind to become someone worthy of her, he was banished from his realm… by Jyuri.”
Jyuri shrugged as though bored. “It was so long ago.”
I gasped. “Then that was all true?”
He nodded, and a smile rose to his lips. “Yes. It was a pleasure to crush him for what he did to our Queen. I only wish I’d killed him with my own hands. For him, I wished a slow and agonizing death in your realm. I should have foreseen that Human cowardice would tremble at the sight of him, regardless of the weakened state he was in.”
Zorinna stood from the couch and loomed over Jyuri, her face red with anger. “Why wouldn’t you tell us this? Do you not think Zaelos’ motivations and your involvement with him would’ve been an important piece of information to divulge?”
“You never asked, darling.” His face showed genuine confusion.
“You Fae are truly insufferable,” Alandris hissed. “Amorphael didn’t tell us anything either. Now I see why she got involved in the first place. She feels responsible.”
Jyuri laughed. “Oh, please. She’s been ordered to take care of things by her Queen, just as I have by mine.”
Alandris closed his eyes, shaking his head. “And here we are, cleaning up the mess of the Fae. Why exactly are we doing your bidding?”
“Because you fell in l—”
Zorinna slapped a hand over his mouth. “I think that’s quite enough.” She turned to me. “Did you see anything else, Nairu? A”—she grimaced in disgust—“are you seriously licking me? Are you a child? A dog?” She ripped her hand away from Jyuri and plopped back down on the couch, wiping her hand on the front of her shirt.
I paused, looking down at my hands in my lap before I met their eyes again. “Zaelos said I was his vessel… but Alandris already told me that.” I ignored the glare Zorinna shot his way and continued, “He also said I chose to be his.”
A silence filled the room, and I felt compelled to explain, “I would never choose that. My people raised me as a Saintess, but I never chose that life. I’d never even heard my supposed god’s voice until just before Jyuri attacked the Phoenix Heart.”
My head was swimming. So much of what I’d heard in the dream had turned out to be true, but that was the one thing I knew had to be fiction. For one, I had no memory of ever choosing to be a Saintess, let alone allowing a god into my body. Besides that, I’d run from that life as soon as it was possible to do so. I’d completed nothing I’d set out to do on my pilgrimage. I was far from being the perfect Saintess. And then it hit me.
“They knew,” I whispered, gripping the fabric cushion in my lap. “They—my people—they knew they were sending me to my death when they sent me on that pilgrimage. Even if they didn’t know who or what exactly Zaelos was, they knew he would consume me.” I clenched my teeth as tight as I could bear. “That’s why they wanted me strong—why they wanted me to learn how to control my magic, so my body would survive the process. They lied to me from the moment I was born.”
I’d wanted answers so badly all of my life. I’d given up hope on ever finding them when I’d left my Keeper on the streets of Tempestas and joined my crew. So why—after finally getting the answers I’d craved—was I more confused than ever?
Alandris wrapped his hand around mine. “It’s a double-edged sword. The stronger you are, the more likely he will succeed in taking your body as his without destroying it, but the stronger you are, the better position you’ll be in to defend yourself. He’s biding his time.”
“Why not kill me?” I asked. “Not that I want to die, but I fail to see why you wouldn’t take the easy way out and kill us both in one go.”
Alandris turned to Zorinna with a pained expression, but she shook her head. “No. We can’t. What if it triggers something?”
“Is this about Zaelos?” I pressed my lips together. “I think he’s tired from when I last used my magic. I haven’t heard his voice. He doesn’t seem to be paying attention.”
“It’s not that,” Alandris sighed. “There is more that I can’t explain right now.”
I stood and looked at him with the full force of the bitter resentment that had begun stirring in my gut. “Then, how are you any different from the people of my village?”
His face went ghastly pale as his lips parted to respond.
I didn’t give him the chance to answer the question. It’d been rhetorical, after all.
"Ithought you’d died!” Elle shrieked as I entered our room with a pile of the belongings I’d accrued during my time in Alandris’ room. “I thought I was going to have to spend the rest of my year at the Consortium without a roommate! You can’t go off and disappear like that, Nairu. I worry about you. We’re friends, aren’t we?”
How close she was to the truth.
