I was sure he’d heard me, but he ignored my remark. “Start in partners for now, and after a couple of hours, we will form back into a group to put your practice to the test. I’ll come by to each pair to assist as you work.”
Elle grabbed my arm. “Let’s go over there, Nairu.”
Thankfully, she’d shoved us into a corner spot, hidden from most of the other students. “I have no idea where to start,” I admitted. “I’ve only ever used my magic once, and it was somewhat of an accident, and very much a mistake.”
“Your magical ability comes from your god, correct?” She pointed to me. “You don’t wear a conduit.”
“I suppose so.” I didn’t consider myself divinely blessed, because while my people worshipped a god and believed I could save them by restoring him to his glory, I’d never even heard his voice.Saintess,as if. I wasn’t sure I even believed in it anymore. And because I didn’t think mentioning that, or the fact that some creepy version of myself in the mirror had edged me towards using this magic would be a grand idea, I added, “it’s complicated, but yes, I don’t get my magic from the natural world like you do.”
“What element do you lean towards?”
“Uh- my magic looked a bit like shadow. Somewhat.”
Elle’s eyes lit up like I’d said the most fascinating thing she’d ever heard. “That is so interesting! There was once a Mage here who could manipulate light, but it turned out that was sort of a facet of the element of fire. Still, incredibly rare to be capable of controlling it to that degree. He’s a legend now. Disappeared out of nowhere.”
I sensed she had just added me to the Elle compendium of endless knowledge. “So… where do we start?”
“Ah, yes!” Elle refocused on the task at hand. “You should be able to feel the magic there, beneath your fingertips. Picture the place you draw your magic from. For me, it’s like reaching into nature itself. You need to pull forth enough to wrap it around your hands, then your arm. Let it harden. It will be easier than creating a literal shield from nothing.”
To demonstrate, she followed her own directions. I watched as magic flowed from her fingertips in beautiful green swirls. It curled around her fingers and traveled up her arm, at first forming vines that weaved together over her skin like a chain mail. Then, her very skin transformed, taking on a hardened quality that looked like bark. When the transformation was complete, she knocked on her arm with her fist and smiledat hearing the hard thunk. She held her palm out to me expectantly.
I blew out a breath. My turn.Right.
Initially, there was nothing more than a tingle prickling at my skin. I pictured the place I drew my magic from, as Elle had suggested, but it was nothing like the beauty of nature. It was dark and sinister—a beast lying in wait. Shadows rose from the palm of my hand, starting too small to do anything, but then they came in waves until my entire arm was wreathed in shadow, and I could feel the beginnings of stinging pain from the black tendrils traveling out from the center of my palm. I tried to stop the flow, I’d manifested more than enough physical magic to move to the hardening bit of Elle’s instructions, but they wouldn’t cease. The shadows continued to snake up my forearm, to my bicep, and then to my shoulder. I’d panicked when I felt warmth envelop my arm and saw the shadows burn up into smoke.
“You need to know when to stop. You own the magic, it does not own you,” Alandris spoke from behind me.
I chewed my lip. He was the last person I’d wanted to witness my failure. “I know.”
“Do you need to retire for the day?”
And admit I was weak? As if. I looked down at my hand. There was a small black circle remaining, painful to the touch, but the other tendrils had faded. The pain wasn’t unbearable enough to cause me to surrender. “No, I can keep going.”
Elle pouted. “If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure. Let’s go again.”
I heard a whisper in the back of my mind. I only wanted to remember what it felt like. It’s been so long.
I shuddered at the sudden intrusion. “I own this power.”
Elle flicked her head up. “Hm?”
“Nothing.”
We waited until Alandris had busied himself with another pair of Mages before we continued our practice. It was going better this time, with Elle and I taking turns forming our own shields and testing the hardness. I’d been concerned about her touching the hardened shadow, but when she pulled her hand away, there were thankfully no marks upon her skin. I’d not been able to match her strength, though. My shield was flimsy at best. Not enough to withstand a powerful punch, let alone a blade. So when Alandris called for everyone to reconvene, I cringed.
“Time to put your hard work to the test.” Alandris titled his head towards a barrel of practice swords. “Defend against your peer’s strikes. For this, I will partner you at random, since you are too familiar with your normal partner’s technique. Can’t have you getting too comfortable.”
There were a few groans of protest, but most of the Mages seemed excited to show off. I was in the former group. Not only was I going to fail publicly unless something had changed in the minutes it’d taken to walk over here, I was going to put my out-of-the-ordinary magic on full display. I was no stranger to being ostracized. It came with territory when you looked how I looked, but it was positively annoying to add another tick in the box of things that made me the odd one out. I’d only recently come to terms with my strange features and decided I didn’t care what people said about me
I was really going to be testing my indifference.
Alandris partnered me with a young human man named Quinn, who had been training for three years and used fire magic—according to Elle. Of course, she knew him. Elle partnered with an Elven male, whom she claimed ‘would be no challenge at all’. At least one of us was confident we weren’t walking into impending doom.
Alandris set the rules for the first pair. “The goal is to test the strength of your shields. Attackers may strike as you see fit. Dotry not to be too predictable.” He crossed his arms. “These are practice swords, and I know most of you are untrained, so please avoid the face. Our healers see enough of you. I do not want to send them a Mage with their eye poked out today.”
Naturally, Elle volunteered to go first, much to her partner’s dismay.
