If she were cackling or triumphant right now, I wouldn’t think twice about her question, but her concern makes me worried. So far, she hasn’t taken the rubies, leaving them on the table instead.
I have to believe that Alexei will forgive me for snatching them. I can even conjure replacement gems for him. I can make it up to him. Once I have the revival spell, he’ll understand why I’ve done this.
My blank expression must speak volumes because Mother Kadris’s already-wide eyes grow to saucers.
“When Alexei received his assassin’s ring,” she says, “he had these stones set into it so he could keep them safe and with him always.”
My mouth is suddenly dry. “Why?”
Her gaze lowers to the rubies. “Because they’re his last connection to his mother.”
I force myself to speak. “In what way?”
“I’m sure you already know that his mother was cast out of her coven when she gave birth to a baby boy with no apparent magical ability. She then abandoned the child too. What is not well known is that she had no choice but to leave him, or the coven would have killed him. Before she left, she poured all of her love into these stones and left them with him so he would know that she loved him.”
I’m chilled to the core. I stare at the three red stones glinting like a sharp accusation between us.
“Why three?” I ask.
“Because one was not enough to contain all of her love.”
My stomach sinks. An awful yawning trench opens up within my mind and swallows me.
I clench my jaw, trying to fight my fear. Fear of losing him now. “If that’s true, then why do you want them?”
She hesitates, shakes her head, studies me instead of the rubies. I’m finding all of her reactions completely confusing and contrary to how I expected this to play out. She’s hiding something, but I don’t know what. Or why.
“Because love is the most powerful magic of all,” she says.
And I took them away from Alexei. The only connection he has to his mother… all her love… stolen… after he offered me everything he has to give…
I betrayed him.
I’ve made so many mistakes in my life. Helped where I shouldn’t have helped. Refused to help where I should have helped…
Now I’ve made the worst mistake.
He will never forgive me.
My heart is cold. The warmth leaves me, and the air around me chills. My instinctive magic billows upward, taking control without my volition, freezing the air around us, making our breath frost.
I wrap my arms around my stomach, trying to quell the sick feeling invading my body, but it’s no use.
Mother Kadris considers me for another moment before she sighs deeply, breathing out the frosty air, tapping her fingertips on the table next to the rubies. “You have a choice to make now, Tansy Gray. How badly do you want the revival spell?”
Earlier tonight she told me that only someone worthy should have the spell. I’m not worthy. I convinced myself I wanted the spell for Alexei, to give him the chance to feel love, but the truth is my motives are entirely selfish.
I want him to have the chance to loveme.
He will never love me now.
I have to return the rubies to him, face the consequences of my actions, and then… I have to let him go.
I reach across the table to take them back, but Mother Kadris darts forward and scoops the stones into her fist.
She swiftly deposits them into the pockets of her sleek black pants. “I’m sorry, Tansy. Your choices just disappeared.”
We are both half out of our seats, face to face across the table.
