I struggled against Graviter’s hold so hard, trying to get to Erik, to stop him from giving his life for me.
Now, he’s warning me that he won’t let me go easily. The strength of his arms around me only emphasizes his words.
“Then we’ll have to find a dragon on the way.” My voice is a bare whisper, and my heart aches so badly I can’t force myself to move.
For long minutes neither of us moves or speaks.
Then, finally, the thumping of his heart eases, and I know that if I don’t move now, I will never do it.
Pushing up off him, I disconnect our bodies and slip from his arms, heading straight to the side of the room where a tap of my hand against the wall provides me with a bathroom.
My movements are wooden as I wash up.
My body doesn’t feel like it belongs to me.
For a moment, I lean forward, gripping the edge of the sink, my eyes closed, my jaw clenching.
The hurt… I can’t stop it.
I have no choice but to throw myself into a future that requires my own destruction.
Chapter 47
When I emerge from the bathroom, I find Erik already dressed.
He’s quiet as he hands me my clothing and helps me pull on my weapon harness again, placing my hammer into it.
He pulls on his own harness and slides his sword into the scabbard at his back before he bends to the discarded coat on the floor, retrieving from its pocket the dark device that was once in his heart.
I didn’t ask him for it, but he holds it out to me.
I will tell him everything on the way, but for now, the hollow look in his eyes tells me he guesses what I have to do.
It takes me a mere second to pull a thread from my shirt and transform it into a pouch to hold the device. He drops the device inside it. Then I tie the pouch to my harness.
“I need to go to Thaden’s village for the rest of Malak’s tools, as well as Thaden’s tools,” I say, my voice rasping in the silence between us. “I can’t leave any dark metal behind. All of it must come with me.”
And now for the harder part. “But the village is much closer to the darkness than you need to go to reach Queen Karasi. Traveling there is extremely dangerous?—”
“I don’t fucking care,” Erik growls, pulling me close again. “I will come with you to the edge, Asha.”
Erik promised he would present himself to Queen Karasi today in the guise of being Rachel’s champion. He hasn’t told me exactly what he plans to do yet, although his ultimate goal is to end the Fae Queen.
He will need to travel toward the darkness either way. Even though I’m determined he won’t get near it, I whisper, “Okay. Let’s go to the edge. Together.”
Within minutes, we’ve descended the steps, which, astonishingly, let out onto one of the perches Mother Solas mentioned, as if the tower knows where I want to go.
Concord and Blackbird are huddled together against the ocean wind, their feathers ruffling in the breeze, their necks curved against each other.
For a moment, I don’t want to disturb them, but they both look up a moment after we appear in the arched doorway.
I want to take Blackbird, but Concord will be well-known to the fae. At a glance, the fae won’t question her presence in the sky. It’s possible we could even fly right through fae territory unhindered as long as nobody gets too close to us.
Even so, I go to Blackbird first. “I need you to stay here and watch over the people in this tower. Look after them. I promise we will look after Concord. We won’t let anything happen to her.”
Blackbird gives me an unhappy growl, and I understand his reluctance, but Concord is already extending her wing to me.
Despite her apparent willingness to carry us, Erik approaches her slowly. “We’re flying toward the darkness. Are you sure you’re prepared to take us there?”
