“I don’t know how you canevenlook at me right now, let alone touch me,”I said, hating myself for what I’d put her through.
For what my dad had put her through.
“Because you’re not him, Jackson.”
I tore my gaze away, unable to look at her with the amount of guilt and shame rushing through me.“How can you saythat? After everything I’ve done to you these past few weeks, how can you say I’m not him?”
Bitterness coated my tone. I curled and uncurled my fists, wishing there was something solid I could pummel them into until bone was exposed and blood poured from my knuckles. Thank God there wasn’t a mirror nearby, I didn’t think I could stomach looking at my reflection rightthen.
Kiera grabbed my arm, and before I could ask what she was doing, she’d situated herself in my lap, her soft hands cupping my face.“Jackson, listen to me. You’re not your father. He hurt me-”
“So did I, Kiera.”
Her eyes squeezed closed.“Don’t call me Kiera. Please. You always call me Kiki.”Two tears slid down her cheeks as she leaned her forehead against mine.“Jackson, since you came back into my life, it’s the most alive I’ve felt in years. Maybe I’mjustfucked up, or maybe it’s because it meant I got to have you insome way, I don’t know, and I don’t care. I’m not sorry for the last few weeks, not when you made me feel something other than the constant pit of despair I’ve lived in sincethatnight.”She held my stare, peering into my soul as she delicately stroked a finger over my cheek.“And you want to know how I look at you? The same way I look at Billie. Whenever I see my daughter, I’m not reminded of him.I’m reminded of how kind she is. How strong, and beautiful, and caring, and happy, and sweet, and every other good quality my daughter has. She might have his DNA, but she isn’t him.”
More tears glided down her cheeks, as did my own. Unable to resist, and breaking my vow not to touch her, my hands gripped her hips, wanting,needing, her closer to me. She continued speaking as she shifted forward, our chests pressing together, our hearts beating in rhythm.“That’s how I look at you, Jackson. I don’t see your father; I see the boy I fell in love with all those years ago. I seethatunder the hurt I caused, there is a kind, caring man. A man who would do anything to protect the ones he loves,evenifthatmeans sacrificing himself.”
“You didn’t hurt me, Kiki.”I laced my fingers through her hair, my gaze dropping to her mouth.“My father did.Yourfather did. But not you. You would never intentionally hurt me, and I should’ve knownthat. I should have fucking knownthatsomething was wrong,thatyou wouldn’t have destroyed what we had.”Closing my eyes, I inhaled a deep breath, stealing myself a few seconds to man the fuck up and apologize. Opening them again, I was met with her watery gaze fixed on me.“I should have fought harder, Kiki. I should have believed in us. Instead, I walked away and left you to fight your battle on your own. I had your love, but I was the one who threw it away, and I’m so fucking sorry. I’ll spend the rest of my life regretting walking away from you.”
She movedevencloser, her lips brushing against mine as she spoke.“I don’t need your apology, Jackson. I don’t need you to fight my battle, and I don’t want your regret. Ijustneed you.”
A glimmer of hope sparkled in my battered heart. Lightly pressing my lips to hers in a chaste kiss, I pulled away so I could return my gaze to her.“You have me, Kiki. I’m yours, I always was. Ijusthopethatone day, we can get back what my father stole from us. Do you think you could ever go back to loving me like before?”
Her lips twitched into the faintest of smiles.“I don’t think I ever stopped.”
Looping her arms around the back of my neck, our mouths met, the salty tang of our combined tears hitting our taste buds as our tongues found each other and twirled in a sensual slow dance.
My hands on her hips tightened as our kiss consumed the two of us. For several seconds, nothing else mattered. Not the past. Not the future,justthatverymoment when it was only the two of us, our hearts taking the first step toward healing together.
Ending the kiss far too soon, Kiera pulled back but rested her head against mine again.“We have so much to talk about still, but I can’t think straight. I need to find Billie.”
I bobbed my head. She was right, we had a shit ton to discuss, but it wouldn’t be easy, orevena quick process. We had years of damage to undo, butthatwould have to wait. For now. “Thenlet’s find her.”
She raised a brow.“You’re still going to help?”
A grin pulled on my lips.“Of course. She’s my sister.”As if my relationship to Billie had onlyjustoccurred to Kiera, she momentarily froze, her eyes wide, her jaw hanging open. With a finger under her chin, I pressed her mouth closed.“You realize she has no chance of ever bringing a boyfriend home now, right? Not with James and me vetting every single boy she mentions.”
A burst of laughter escaped Kiera, breaking the tension. My breath caught as she beamed at me. Fuck, she was so goddamn beautiful.
“You’ll have to get in line, big brother. I’ve already told her she isn’t allowed to have a boyfriend until she is fifty.”I grinned back at her, elation running through me, despite everything I’d discovered tonight. But my grin faded when Kiera asked,“How do we get her back?”
I sucked in a deep breath, hating the frown creasing her brow.“You spoke to Alec, right? Before you came here?”She nodded, a flash of disgust lighting up her eyes.“Tell me what he said.”
“He wants to secure his place in Legion. He said the only way I would ever see Billie again was if I smoothed the way for him. He told me I couldn’t go to James because he knows how much James hates him. That’s why I contacted your…”shebroke off, not able to say my father’s name.“I stupidly thought he would help. I guess I wasn’t thinking straight. I should never have reached out to him.”
“I’m glad you did,”I replied, her downcast gaze whipping up to meet mine.“Because now I know the truth. Now you don’t have to live with the weight of the past on your shoulders.”Kiera opened her mouth to reply, but I quickly shushed her.“We’ll talk about my father later. How long did Alec give you to get an answer?”
“Twenty-four hours.”
Holding onto Kiera’s hips, I stood, bringing her with me before lowering her feet to the deck.“Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going back to your place. I left a program running on Alec’s computer to bypass his password. Once I’m in, I can interrogate it to see if there are any clues about where he might have taken Billie. While I dothat, you’re going to pack yours and Billie’s shit together, andthenyou’re moving in with me.”
Her brow lifted, but a smirk pulled at the corner of her mouth.“Justlikethat?”
“Yep.Justlikethat.”I cupped her cheek, her warm skin nuzzling my palm.“From this moment on, Kiki, you belong to me. YouandBillie, and I promise you, no one will ever hurt either one of you again. I’mjustsorry I couldn’t protect you before.”
Her eyes brimmed with tears once more, and after a pause, she asked,“Whatthen?”
“Do you trust me?”
