“Thatwas incredible. I’ve never-”
I jumped off the sofa, cutting her off as I tucked my cock away, and confused by the sudden streak of anger replacing my post-coital haze.“Don’t get used to it, Kiki. Ijustwanted to prove to myselfthatI could make any girl come. But honestly? I’m not surprised Alec doesn’t bother putting the effort in. Watching you come is pretty fucking disappointing.”
Before I could acknowledge the hurt on her face, I stormed off to take another shower, unsure why I’d saidthatwhen watching her come was quite possibly the best experience I’d ever had.
Chapter 14
Kiera
The revving of an engine pulled me from a deep sleep. Blinking against the sunlight streaming in through the floor-to-ceiling windows, and momentarily confusing me as to where I was, the events of the night flashed in front of me.
I bolted upright; the blanketthatsomeone—Jackson, presumably, unless someone else had access to the cottage—pooled at my waist, reminding methatunderneath, I was naked. I quickly covered myself up before standing, ignoring the dull throb in my head caused by the wine.
After Jackson had stormed off, I’d finished the bottle off in a bid to block out the myriad of feelingsthathad pounded through me after Jackson made me come. Notjustonce, but twice. When the wine didn’t douse the fire burning through my veins, I helped myself to several glasses of whiskey, finally passing out on the couch.
On shaky legs, I made my way through the large cottage, admiring the wooden beams and stunning view of the surrounding fieldsthatthe enormous windows granted. I looked for any sign of Jackson, but deep down, I knewthatthe car I’d heard driving away was him bolting, leaving me stranded.
Anxiety bubbled in my stomach. I’d left my phone in the car after I’d run from who I thought was a murderer. What if Billie had tried to call me overnight? Guilt plowed into me like a sledgehammer. I’d done the one thing I always vowed I wouldn’t: drink when my daughter was home from school.
Evenworse, I hadn’t given her a second thought after Jackson fucked me into oblivion in the cornfield.
Fuck. I was a terrible mom.
Finding the kitchen, I paused in the doorway as memories from ten years ago swirled to the surface of my mind. I’d never been to Jackson’s family cottage before, but this was the place we were planning to come to when the time came for us to take the next step in our relationship.
I’d envisioned the first time we made love, it would be slow and passionate next to a roaring fire, andthatJackson would have been gentle and tender as he claimed my virginity. Instead, our first time was in a muddy field where he fucked me hard, reminding me how much he hated me.
I swiped a stray tear away. I’d loved Jackson so damn muchthatthere were times when I thought losing him hurt more than my father ostracizing me from the family. I never thought Jackson would hurt me, and physically, he hadn’t.
Emotionally, he was destroying me.
The familiar ringtone of my phone snapped me out of the trance I’d fallen into as I stared into thin air.
My brows furrowed as I crossed to the kitchen island, finding both my phone and my car keys sitting on the side next to a pile of new clothes. My gaze lifted to the windowthatlooked out onto the driveway, relief seeping through me at seeing my car parked outside.
On top of the pile of clothes was a note.
Your car’s fixed.Let yourself out. I’ll be in touch.J.
A small smile crept over my lips.
Despite every cruel word Jackson had thrown my way, despite the mind games he was playing, he’d gone out of his way to not only get me a set of clothesthatweren’t torn or mud-stained, but had also made sure my car was fixed so I had a way to get home.
Maybe, somewhere deep down, the boy I once loved was still buried inside, hidden by the man who claimed to hate me.
Or maybe that was wishful thinking.
Thankfully, the call to collect Billie from her sleepover hadn’t come, and I was able to breathe a little easier. Megan phoned shortly after I’d arrived home to ask if Billie could stay with her and Lucy for the rest of the day because they were going to the movies.
I’d reluctantly agreed, needing my daughter back in my arms, but wanting her to have fun with her friend. My other reason for wanting Billie home was a tad selfish. Alec would be returning from his work trip, and I was dreading seeing him.
Guilt had riddled its way into the deepest part of my body, and I was shit-scaredthatAlec would figure out I was hiding something from one look at my face. For some bizarre reason, I hadn’t felt so guilty when Jackson had made me suck his cock, but having sex with him? Yeah,thatguilt was eating me alive.
Still, the guilt didn’t stop me from checking the phone he’d given me every few minutes, hoping to find a message demanding I go to him, so he could fuck me again. He was the only man who’d made me come, but it went further thanthat.
He was the only man I truly enjoyed having inside of me,evenif he had been rough.
He was the only man I wanted inside of me ever again.
