Paul wheeled his chair away from where he’d been hovering by my legs to sit near my head.“How long ago?”he asked, a note of sympathy in his voice.
“Ten years.”
His brows furrowed before his stoic features softened.“When you were fifteen?”
“Yes.”
I’d given him a few details about my medical history before the examination started,including my age. I knew I’d have to divulge the reason I didn’t have a coil fitted, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him until it was absolutely necessary.
In fact, when I thought about it, I realized I’d never admitted aloudthatI’d had a hysterectomy. I hadn’teventold Alec; for six years, I’d been pretending once a monththatI had my period, and damn gladthathe was so grossed out by periodsthathe kept away from me and hadn’t discovered my lies.
The only reason he wore condoms when he fucked me was because he didn’t want us to have children until we were married. One of the many reasons I’d been actively avoiding wedding planning.
“Would it be an accurate assumption to saythatyou don’t want Jackson to know?”Paul said. I brushed a stray tear awaythathad slipped free at the tenderness in the doctor’s voice. Unable to form any words, I nodded. Another tear slid free when he gently placed his hand on top of mine, where it rested on the bed, and he gave me a kind smile.“Patient doctor confidentiality. I won’t tell Jackson.”
I closed my eyes. Gratitude swam through me, but mixed in with it was sorrow. It was another lie I’d have to tell Jackson. Another nail in the coffin of what was once a beautiful relationship.
For the entire car ride home, Jackson didn’t speak, and I couldn’tevenbring myself tolook at him; guilt held me hostage.
I’d been so lost in my anxiety about where we were going earlierthatI hadn’treallyhadtime to process the words he’d fired at me.
If I’m like this, it’s becauseyoumade me this way.
He was right; it was my fault he’d become who he was today: a cruel man with a coldheart. My actions may have resulted in the birth of my daughter, but it had come at the cost of Jackson’s love.
Over the years, and on rare occasions, I’d summoned up the courage to ask James ifJackson was involved with anyone, and I was always a little relieved to hear he hadn’t settled down. Butthatwas selfish of me. Despite recent actions, he was a good guy, and he had a lot of love to give.
We would never get back what we had, but he deserved to find someone to spend the restof his life with and to be happy. Not this callous versionthatI’d created.
When I’d told him to do his worst, I said it with the sole intention of keeping Billie safe,but as I stared out the window, memories of the past swirling in my mind, my heart sank into my stomach.
I deserved everything Jackson had in store for me. I owed him the opportunity to mend his broken heart by purging himself of all the pain, hurt, and betrayal I had caused. Maybethen, he’d find a way of loving again.
My only hope wasthathe didn’t destroy me beyond repair in the process.
I didn’t register where we were until Jackson stopped outsideBella Cibo,where I’d left my car. For several seconds, I didn’t move, unsure of what to say.
“Get out,”he snapped, not looking at me.
“What happens now?”I asked, but not sure I wanted to hear the answer.
He didn’t answer straight away, and a pang of hope soared through me. Maybe he’d come to the conclusionthathe didn’t need to blackmail me after all, andthatwe could part ways and go on with our lives, pretending the other didn’t exist.
Of course, life wasn’t that fair.
He reached over to open the compartment by my legs and pulled out a small phone.“Here,”he said, shoving it against my chest.
“Um… I have a phone.”
“Yeah, but I want you to have this one.”He finally turned to look at me, his eyes blazingwith hatred.“When I message, I expect a reply. If I call, I expect you to answer it.”
“But-”
“No buts. I don’t give a fuck if you’re with Alec. I call, you answer, or the next call Imake will be to your fiancé to tell him about the whore he plans on marrying.”I closed my eyes, overwhelming despair flooding me as I reluctantly took the phone from him.“While we’re on the topic of your fiancé,”Jackson continued, a hint of amusement seeping into his tone and dousing a fraction of his fire.“You’re not to fuck Alec while you’re my toy. In fact, you’re not to fuck anyone else. No more parties withthatfriend of yours, or I’ll be paying her a little visit. Understand?”
I gaped at him, his insinuation clear. How the hell had he found outthatDonna was theone who’d taken me to the party?
“I said, do you understand?”he snarled, his hands tightening around the wheel.
