Chapter 1
Kiera
When I was little, I would tiptoe through the hallways of my family home, flinching atthe screams of pain coming from my mom as my dad viciously beat her. I would slip silently into my brother’s room,terrifiedmy father would catch me out of bed and make me his next target.
James knewthatwhenever the screaming started, it wouldn’t be long until I snuck intohis room, seeking safety. He would fling his covers back and beckon me to hide under the sheets, where the two of us clung to each other and waited for the storm to pass. He always held me against his side, telling me not to worry andthathe would never let our father hurt me.
When the screaming stopped and James fell asleep, I would lie by his side, listening tohis gentle breaths, and vowing to myselfthatI wouldn’t end up like my mom.
That I wouldneverlet a man hurt me.
As I surveyed the angry, purple bruises covering my ribs, disappointment swirled within me. I had broken my vow, and the worst part was, this wasn’t the first time I’d been at the receiving end of my fiance’s temper.
Pulling my top down to cover the bruises, I tore my eyes away from the mirror, unable tolook at the pathetic woman I had become. Grabbing my glass of white wine, I downed the contents in one gulp before pouring another generous helping from the bottle I’d brought upstairs while I got ready for my night out.
I took another mouthful, a smaller one this time, licking my lips to savor every dropbefore I applied a layer of pink gloss. For what I was doing tonight, I was going to need the Dutch courage alcohol provided.
As if I needed the excuse to drink.
Wine had become my best friend of late. The only time I didn’t indulge was when my daughter, Billie, was home from her boarding school. Currently, she was in school, safe from her disgrace of a mother, and had another few weeks of her current term. I knew the amount I was drinking was increasing every time she went back to school, but I couldn’t help myself.
Alcohol helped me forget the shit showthatwas my life.
Andthatshit show was about to get a whole lot worse, yet there I was, standing in front of my mirror, determined to go ahead with my evening plans despite knowing what the consequences would be if Alec ever found out.
Slipping my feet into the black heels I’d selected to go with my outfit—a low-cut blouserevealing the swell of my breasts, and a short skirt showcasing my long legs—nervous anticipation swirled in my belly.
What if no one spoke to me?
What if no one looked at me?
What if I left feeling worse than I already did?
NotthatI could feel much worse; I didn’t relish the idea of cheating on Alec, but I needed an escape. I needed one night where I felt something other than the perpetual gloominess I lived in. Besides, it wasn’t as if Alec was faithful to me, and if I were honest, I didn’t care if he cheated on me, not when I couldn’t stand him touching me.
I often wondered how I had ended up in this predicament; engaged to a man I could barely tolerate, isolated from my friends and family, and lonelier than ever before. But any time I asked myself the question, the faces of those who’d destroyed my life floated before my eyes.
I was never sure which of them I hated the most. Between them, they took everything from me, leaving me with a shattered heart and broken trust. If it wasn’t for Billie—the only good thing in my life—I wouldhave ended my misery long before—a thoughtthatwould repeatedly circle in my head every time Alec laid a hand on me.
In recent weeks, his outbursts had become more frequent, thankfully, always whileBillie was at school. I could suffer his violence all the time she never witnessed it, but I’d be damned if she ended up suffering the same emotional damage I had after years of hearing the screams from my mom.
They still haunted me in my sleep.
Alec tended to lose control whenever he tried to instigate sex, and I turned him down. Icould havejustgiven in and saved myself a beating—somethingthathad gotten me through the first few years of our relationship—but these days, the thought of him being inside me churned my stomach.
Ironic,really. My skin crawled whenever the man I was engaged to touched me, yet I wasabout to head to a sex party with the intention of fucking a complete stranger.
My lifereallyhad become one giant fuck up.
For the entire cab ride to the mansion where the party was being held, my body vibratedwith nerves. ParanoiathatI was going to get caught thrummed through my veins, mixing with the bottle of wine I’d finished before leaving home.
The driver attempted several times to talk to me, only receiving one-word answers when Iwas too busy checking my phone, making sure Alec hadn’t called or messaged to say he’d unexpectedly changed his plans and had come home early.
It wouldn’t be the first time.
He was a senior manager for an investment company, and often traveled for work, or atleast, that’s what he told me. I was certain his excuse for being away from home was so he could fuck his way through half the population.
But hey, if he was fucking other women, he wasn’t bothering me.
