“I am no felon!” Driz adds.
“Feline,” the pirate adds, helpfully.
“For the love of the great horned dragon, you two,” I snap, my patience at an end. “Knock it off.”
“Madam, this…thisroughageinsulted yourhonor,” Driz says, his eyes snapping with anger.
“I did no such thing, you blithering buffoon!” Hamish yells.
“By the power of the great volcano,” comes a deep and terrifyingly resounding voice behind us, “cease!”
As a single body, the four of us whirl around. Sasha is standing behind us, an almost unholy red light flickering in her eyes, the spikes that run across her skull and down her back standing to point. I have never seen a dracone in a fury before, and I hope never to again. It ishorrifying.
“I amtryingtoconcentratehere!” Sasha shouts, her voice making my knees tremble violently.
She glares at us, faint wisps of smoke curling from her nostrils.
“My dear young lady,” Driz says first, sounding as though he’s near tears. “I do beg your pardon.”
“Don’t beg my pardon,” she snarls. “Just stop beingassholes.”
With that, she turns and sweeps back up the stairs. I sag against the wall in relief.
“Why…why have you got adragonin this cursed bookshop?” Hamish says, his voice trembling.
“A dracone,” I say, swallowing my fear and trying to force myself to sound reasonably normal.
“A teenager,” the pirate adds, helpfully.
“She’s usually quite…quite…”
“Mopey,” the pirate suggests.
“Helpful,” I amend, shooting him a glare. He winks at me.
“This ismadness,” Hamish says. “I’m leaving.” He turns to me. “I can’t depart until tomorrow at the earliest, and I have little hope that this hamlet can offer anything approaching appropriate accommodations.”
“If you’re staying,” Driz says, apparently having recovered from his anger, “the inn down the road’s quite nice. They named it after me.”
Hamish shoots Driz a look of withering contempt.
“Seeing as you’re staying, that is,” Driz continues, oblivious. “Delicious steak-and-ale pie.”
“I’ll write and inform your parents at once,” Hamish says. “And my parents. That I was…that I was unable to break the curse. For better and for worse, I suppose.”
“Really, Hamish,” I say, a bit more gently, “you were never going to break the curse. It’s not yours to break.”
“I shan’t tell my beloved, however,” he adds, grimly. “About the kiss, that is.”
After a bit more talking, Driz leads Hamish out, having forgotten or not caring that Hamish referred to him as a blithering buffoon mere minutes before, reassuring him that the local beer is really quite good. I stand in the doorway, watching the two make their way across the square, and then lean against the doorframe, suddenly exhausted.
“How many more do you think your parents are going to send?”
I close my eyes for a moment, search myself for my last dreg of inner strength, then turn and face the pirate.
“You know. Princes,” he says, as though it isn’t clear what he’d meant.
“Perhaps since these two haven’t worked, they’ll give up,” I say, though I don’t for a moment believe that.
