"Sorry." He clears his throat. "I just need you to know that this isn’t a death sentence, okay? Many people who have…it,go on to lead normal lives.Youcan have a normal life."
Normal life.
How am I supposed to live one of those now?
How am I supposed to go on tour for the next few months, be away from my family unit, while dealing with this by myself?
I cannot tell them, not yet, anyway.
Doctor Minton goes on to explain in detail all of my treatment options.
Tablets, infusions, injections.
All the side effects that come with everything, and he has my full attention. I can’t afford for him not to.
I don’t have the time to sit and read through every bit of information, only to make the wrong choice.
I need to take in every word, because this is going to be something I deal with on my own.
I can’t have my family worrying about me while I’m so far away, and I can’t have them thinking I’m struggling and homesick on day one.
Knowing Roxanne Herring like I know I do, she’ll beg me to come home so she can wait on me, hand and foot.
But I’m twenty-eight years old.
It’s time I live the life I was given.
And that means doing it the way I now know I need to.
Privately, in the public eye.
I end the call once I know everything I need to know, throwing myself face down onto the couch, when I hear Akira’s signature knock on my door.
It was a little tradition we’d created together on our last tour, and I guess it stuck.
I need a friend right now, but I don’t know if Iwantone.
It’s a hard line to draw, but I unlock the door for her, and she makes her way in, automatically comfortable in a space that isn’t hers.
My eyes find her lips, and I want her to take it all away.
Even though I told myself what happened on the last night of the tour could never happen again, I want the distraction.
"Is everything okay?" She smiles up at me, her dark green eyes softening when they find mine, and I shake away the thought of her and I crossing that line again.
If it happens more than once, it’ll confuse her, and I appreciate her friendship too much to do that to her.
"Everything is fine."
Chapter five
Olive
Ihadplansformy time in New York City.
I’d hoped to write.
I’d hoped to let myself imagine, daydream and play pretend.
