Gross.
“Have you been drinking?” I ask on instinct, and she gasps as though something so terrible should’ve never even crossed my mind.
“Give me a moment, honey,” she says to Mark, and I hear the echo of a closing door through the speaker.
“Listen to me,” she spits, her tone instantly changing to something I’m more familiar with, and for some unsettlingly toxic reason, I find comfort in it. “You’re a fucking brat. Don’t you dare ruin this for me, do you understand? After you cut my insurance off, I had no fucking choice but to marry that man. If you ruin this, I will have nothing.” She seethes.
Her words are vile, but they’re a wonderful reminder that me leaving her the way I did was the best decision I could’ve made for myself.
“Are you finished?”Don’t cry, don’t break, don’t give in.
“God, I don’t know how I raised such a monster,” she whispers through the microphone. “No,Jennifer.I haven’t touched alcohol since the day you left for that stupid job.” She sighs as though it’s been the hardest thing she could ever do. “It turns out I only need to drink when I know I might see you.”
Don’t cry, don’t break, don’t give in.
“Are you done?” I ask again, hating that my lip trembles, but I keep my voice steady.
Lizzie sticks her head out the front door of Bridie’s pub. “You coming back inside?”
I nod. “I have to go, Becky. Take care of yourself, OK? But please do it in California, and not here. I know you never cared about your health for my sake, but at least care about it for yours.” I hang up, gripping my phone in my sweaty palm, and follow Lizzie back to our table.
I know if I let the conversation linger, things would’ve gotten heated.
And if things got heated, I would’ve cried. I would’ve broken. I would’ve given in.
I refuse to be ‘weak’—as she calls it—in front of her.
That woman has seen, heard, and disregarded my tears for a long,longtime, and I think I’ve finally had enough of being second to her.
But I will never be second to me, and that’s all that matters.
Chapter thirty-five
Cole
I think my littlesocial media outburst did more harm than good.
People have been leaving comments on my old posts calling me a ‘cheater’, a ‘man whore’, a ‘fuck boy’, and anything else you can think of that would fall under the same category. They took my words and spun them to make me sound like Mara and Iwerea thing, but are no longer because I chose to be with somebody else.
They speculated that I was hooking up with all these women whose names I’d never heard in my life, but I ignored their baseless gossip.
Blocked it out.
I am thankful for the four hours of blissful silence on the plane ride back to Grangewood Creek.
It gives me time to watch every single episode of that stupid reality show, so the next time Jenna talked about it, I knew what she was referring to.
Tate attempts to hound me with questions, and I do my best to ignore him.
“Does yourgirlfriendfind those photos suspicious?” he asks, and I keep my eyes glued to the screen, shaking my head. “If she hates you, does that mean she’s up for grabs?” Another shake of the head, but it has a different meaning than the first time. Because no, she is not ‘up for grabs,’ she will never be up for fucking grabs.“All I’m saying is that you and Mara looked hot and heavy in those photos. And if your little live stream told the public anything, it’s that you’re just trying to hide from the truth. The young girl’s comments are just looking for an excuse to get your attention. The news articles that are popping up left and right, though? They’re looking at it as a damn gold mine.”
“And what is the truth, Tate?” I spit back under my breath, completely aware of the eyes and ears surrounding us on our flight back.
“All I’m saying, brother, is that the two of you look like you fit well together.”
I level him with a look that I hope says I am done with the bullshit questions. He raises his hands in defeat, getting the message, and closes the partition between us, but not before he has the last say. “By the way…Mara is better for your image. As your brother, I want you to be happy. As your manager, though, I want your career to thrive, and Mara can andwillmake that happen.”
***
