He leans in closer, lips brushing mine, and I convince myself that I never saw a kissing scene written on the paper that I hold in my hands tight. That he’s doing this because he wants to.
Because he wantsme.
But when he pulls away, disappointment hits me like a freight train.
“How was that?” he asks, dropping his hand, and I feel the loss immediately. But those eyes…they remain firmly locked on mine. I clear my throat.
“Good. Great. You were…great.” I smile, shifting in my seat, edging away from him ever so slightly, hoping he doesn’t notice.
“You think?” He doesn’t believe in himself, and while I know what that feels like, I wish he would. Pretty soon, the entire world is going to see what I just witnessed, and they’re all going to fall in love.
Not me, though. He was the love of my life for one night and one morning only, and I’m trying so hard to make sure that remains the same.
I nod. “Yeah, you were great,” I tell him again, but this time I make sure my voice is more believable than it was.
His phone rings on the coffee table in front of us. “I should go.” He holds it up, Tate’s name displayed on the screen along with a photo of him as a child.
We stare at each other for a while before either of us finds the courage to say goodbye, until I blurt words out that I regret the moment they leave my lips. “Are you going to kiss Mara?” How old am I? Fifteen? Getting jealous over something and someone I have no right to be jealous over? “In the scene, I mean,” Iclarify. “I just didn’t see it written on the paper and you almost kissed me, so I wasn’t sure if you were improvising or—” He closes the gap between us, his hand cupping my cheek and he kisses me softly.
We’ve done this so many times before, but this…this feels different. Just like the last time we had sex.
It’s gentle.
It has a different sort of want behind it.
A different type ofneed.
But then he pulls away, and my hand flies up to my lips, hoping to feel his presence still lingering.
“Not in this scene, no. I improvised that because I so desperately wanted to kiss you, but wasn’t sure if you wanted me to,” he admits with a slight shake of his head and clenching of his jaw. “And if I kiss her, it’s never because I want to, Snow. I need you to know that.” He places another soft kiss on my lips. “It’s because I have to for my job.” And another. My heart feels like it’s about to rip through my chest and leap into his.
“You can if you want to, you know?” I force myself to take a tiny step back. His hands fall by his sides. I have this need to let him know. I have no claim over him, and he’s free to do anything and anyone he wants.
He told me no one else could touch me, but the topic of who could touchhimwas never discussed.
“Are you sleeping with someone else?” he asks me, deadpan, and my brows pinch together in confusion with an adamant shake of my head. “Good. Because while we might be friends who fuck, I would have a really hard time knowing you’re fucking someone else at the same time. I told you that already, Snow. So long as you and I are doing this, I won’t touch anyone else, and no one else touches you.”Relief.“If you want that to change, you say the word, and this ends with no hard feelings on my part. Got it?”
There would be hard feelings on my part,my heart wants me to reply, but I refuse.
His voice is firm. It feels like I’ve just been given strict instructions by the professor I have a crush on, and it sets my lady bits alight.
Ignore, ignore,ignore.
Because I don’t have a crush on Cole Green.
Not even a little bit.
No chance in hell.
Could somebody please tell that to my heart, though? Because I don’t think she’s got the memo.
God, I’m in so deep.
Chapter thirty-three
Cole
The lines may havebeen blurry before, but they were still visible.
