“I highly doubt that. But in case you weren’t aware, there are also sharks in the ocean.” I nudge my body into the side of hers and she laughs, loud and genuine this time. Relief floods over me.
She might not realize it, but she’s going to be OK.
And if she needs a constant reminder, I’ll tell her every damn day until she believes it.
Every day until you go your separate ways,I begrudgingly remind myself. It’s almost become my mantra.
“No shit, asshole.” Her laughter continues as she rests her head on my shoulder. “Should we head back? We may not have work tomorrow, but it’s kind of cold out, and in case you can’t tell, I forgot to wear pants.” She wiggles her brows at me, rubbing her hands down her bare legs.
Like I hadn’t noticed that her shorts are short, or that her singlet is white, low cut and her nipples are poking through.
I know what she looks like naked, and it’s been fucking difficult to not act on anything or touch her in the way I’ve been so desperately craving.
But it just isn’t the right time.
So, instead of admitting all of that to her, I nod in agreement. “Let’s go.”
When we finally make it back to our apartment building, it’s late; almost after four in the morning. Everything is eerily quiet, and all I can hear is the way my heart is hammering in my ears.
We walk into the foyer with her arm looped through mine, and I know that if Marv were here, she’d be walking at least a foot ahead of me, wanting no form of physical contact at all.
“Do you want me to come inside?” I ask as we stop at her door on the way to the elevator.
“Can you? I understand if this has been a bit much for you and we’re crossing the friends with benefits boundary, but…I kind of feel like I don’t want to sleep alone.” Her nose is red, her eyes are still puffy, she’s completely exhausted, and it’s physically impossible for me to say the word no.
Not to her.
Never to her.
“Is this something Cassandra would usually do for you?” I ask, and she nods once with no hesitation. “And you guys are friends, right?”
She nods again.
“Our arrangement isfriendswith benefits?”
This time, it’s a nod with a chuckle.
“Then I’m going to be the type of friend you need right now, no matter what that looks like. If you want me to lie stiff as a board on your couch while you curl up next to me, I’ll do it. If you want me to curl up next to you and stroke your hair, I’ll do it. If you want to talk my ear off about your childhood while sipping on margaritas, I’ll fucking do it. I’ll do whatever you want me to do, Snow. But I need you to tell me—” I pause and she laughs, reaching up on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek. “Or, you know, if you want to take advantage of the ‘benefits’ part of our deal, I will gladly oblige, too.”
She shakes her head and takes my hand, her laughter continuing, and I know that whatever we end up doing will be exactly what she needs.
“Cassandra would do almost all of those things.” She closes the door behind us.
We’re friends with benefits who have been taking advantage of the benefits portion a lot lately, with thefriend’sside hitting the back burner.
Not tonight, though.
Tonight, it’s the only thing we’re going to be.
“You’re telling me, I offered up all of thesebrilliantideas on how I can be there for you tonight…and this is what you’ve chosen for us to do? I thought we were supposed to be sleeping.” I sigh in disbelief after our fourth-straight episode of some crummy reality show that she claims is her comfort series.
It’s almost six in the morning now, and I’m regretting offering to doanythingother than sleep.
“It was either this or baking. I bake when I’m overwhelmed.” She sighs, pulling her throw blanket higher over her legs. “And I’m too wired to sleep.”
In the last hour, she’s told me all about how the show works, her favorite contestants, and who she hopes ends up together. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t slowly becoming my new favorite show.
She’s captivated me completely, and I now feel like I need to watch the very first season just so she and I can have another thing to talk about.
