Once I’d graduated high school, I moved to California, signed myself up for beauty school, and never looked back. I was about to start my second year of classes when my mom called me, asking for money. “I went into your room, but all of your stuff was gone,” she’d said to me. She didn’t believe me when I told her I’d been gone for an entire year.
And even then, I kept telling myself that one day she would put me first.
Thatone dayshe would remember all the ways she loved me.
I hoped with every fiber of my being that I would eventually become a priority to her.
I’m still waiting for that day. Still holding out hope.
I visited her at one point, but she was too wrapped up in her new man to pay me any mind. She didn’t marry him, though, thankfully. He was a real thorn in my side and hit on me every chance he got. But she didn’t care. Things with them only ended when she realized he couldn’t afford to pay for her habits.
I’d known almost my whole life that I wasn’t important to Becky Rogers. When I had been gone for a month, two months, six, and then twelve without hearing a word from her, it became abundantly clear that the only person I could depend on to not let me down in this life was myself.
She’s your mom. She loves you, just in her own, non-maternal type of way.
So I did what any abandoned teenager would do: I found a shitty, tiny apartment above a cafe, stuck a flier up on the corkboard with ‘roommate wanted’ written in big, red letters, and my phone number attached beneath it.
I had a call from Cassandra the next day. She moved in three days later, and the rest, as they say, is history.
“I’m proud of you, Jen. This is a huge deal. I hope you lap it up tonight. Take in the life that could be yours in a matter of months.”
“I mean, it’s notthatbig of a deal. They could have picked any hairstylist to do the job.” I shrug it off like it isn’t a big deal.
“Don’t downplay your success. They sought after you because you’re who you are. I can guarantee they’re bragging about you to anyone who will listen. You’re the hottest hair stylist in the country, Jen. Remember that. No one else at your level would have accepted this job, and if I’m honest, I think you only did it because you owe it to teenage Jenna to try.” She smiles softly,blushing at her own words. Cassandra knows just how right she is and how what she’s just said has made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
“Yeah, yeah. I get it. But we both know I only accepted the job to be close to you again,” I tease, and she rolls her eyes.
“Have you changed your mind about staying with Harley and me while you’re here?” she asks, batting her eyelashes at me through the phone as if I’m the man she loves, and she’s desperate to get her way.
“No.” I shake my head. “The entire cast and crew are going to be staying at the old Mercury Hotel, remember?” I tell her, but it’s a little white lie. I just don’t want to live down the hall from newlyweds who are disgustingly in love, fucking each other’s brains out in their brand new home.
“Damn.” She sighs. “Well, I have to go. Harley says he has a huge surprise for our anniversarytomorrow. Apparently, it requires a full night’s sleep.” She giggles. “The black dress looks sexy on you. Don’t-let-anyone-in-your-panties-who-isn’t-worthy-of-you, Jenna!” she blurts out. It’s her way of ending the call quickly. I laugh as I lock my phone and slide it into my tiny clutch.
Checking the contents one last time, I make sure I have everything I need.
“Phone, keys, money, lipstick. Check, check, check and check.” I close it and lock the door behind me, stepping out into the warm, Californian air.
I feel the sun kissing my bare skin, already melting the makeup off my face, and I’m suddenly all too grateful that the production company sent a car to collect me.
The cool leather seats of the car grace my skin, and the partition is already raised to separate me from the driver. We take the journey to downtown L.A. with limited communication.
So far, the night is off to a good start.
I remind myself to let loose, and to set no expectations.
Enjoy yourself,my mind tells me on a loop, and that’s exactly what I plan on doing.
Chapter two
Jenna
Stepping out of thecar, my heels sink into the carpeted floor. A hive of paparazzi are bunched together, and are taking photos of all the nominees for tonight. The blinding lights from their cameras flash from every direction, with Mara Scott their main attraction. She is Hollywood’s most wanted actress, known to have a romantic link to all of her co-stars at one point or another.
I watch her for a moment. Jealousy radiates through every inch of me as I compare parts of her with parts of me. While we’re both blonde with blue eyes and a fair complexion, she has a star power about her that’s palpable from the moment you catch a glimpse of her.
The way she smiles, shakes the hand of the man beside her, or throws her large waves over her shoulder…it all just screams, ‘Look how important and pretty I am.’
And she is both of those things.
