His mouth opens to speak, then slams shut almost as quickly.
“You’re a fucking coward,” I say to him, ignoring the woman by his side completely. “And tothinkI was coming here to tellyou OK. To tell you that we could do what you asked of me. God, I’m a fucking idiot.”
While I thought for a moment that I might’ve loved him, Iknewthat I loved myself more, and I didn’t deserve to feel this way.
Right now, sitting on a wraparound porch on a house next to my best friend and her husband while we’re old and gray, sounds like heaven.
Because the reality that I’m living in right now?
It’s what I imagine hell to be like.
Chapter forty-one
Cole
Me:S.O.S. I royally fucked up and I think Jenna needs you.
Cassandra:I’m on my way.
“Cole, wait,” Mara shoutsover my shoulder as I shove past her to get to my bedroom. I slept in my car last night, too intoxicated to drive anywhere. I knew that if I stayed in the building, I would’ve slept on the welcome mat at Jenna’s front door after begging for her to hear me out.
In hindsight, I probably should’ve done that.
When she left her apartment on her way to find me, she would’ve found me waiting for her there, not-half naked in my apartment with a woman who’s been hell-bent on ruining my life since day one. The same woman who thought it was a good ideato occupy my empty bed while I wasn’t in it, even though her own fucking apartment is directly across the hall.
Not to mention walking out of my bedroom in the top Jenna had seen me wearing when Mara was straddling me.
When I got home, bright and early this morning, I went into my room and found Mara passed out cold, wearing absolutely nothing, with my sheet covering her from the waist down.
I ripped my t-shirt off, threw it on the floor and took a shower instead.
Nothing has ever happened between us.
Certainly not last night.
And I can say, with absolute clarity, that it never will.
“I didn’t expect her to be so dramatic about it,” she huffs, following behind me with heavy footsteps.
Does she even hear the words coming out of her own mouth?
I turn to face her. Her hands are on her hips, leaving my shirt more open than it was, and I quickly whip back around. “Dramatic?” I let out an obnoxious laugh. “You really couldn’t help yourself, could you? You saw a man who wanted nothing to do with you, a man who was happy being with someone else, and took it into your own hands.” I rummage through my walk-in-robe, pull a clean t-shirt off the hanger, and sling it over my head. I collect a pair of clean jeans hanging directly across from it.
Pushing past her, I fetch a pair of boxer briefs from my drawer, and stalk my way to the bathroom, locking myself inside.
“Getoverit, Cole. All in the name of fun,” she shouts from behind the door. I dress in a hurry to hopefully make it to Jenna’s apartment before Cassandra does.
“You need to leave,” I tell her, finding her clothes on the ground scattered across every surface in my apartment, bunching them into one big ball. “Keep the shirt.” I open my door for her. “I mean this in the least respectful way possible:stay the fuck away from me, and stay the fuck away from Jenna. After word gets out about the stunt you pulled last night, Mara, I’ll beverysurprised if you have a career waiting for you when this is done.” She turns ghost white.
I collect my phone and keys while throwing back a couple of Tylenol, and slam the door shut behind me.
Growing impatient while I wait for the elevator, I run down the stairs as though a masked killer is behind me with a knife in his hand and I’m his prey.
When I finally make it to the ground floor, I hunch over, hands on my knees to catch my breath while giving myself a pep talk on how the fuck I’m going to get out of this mess.
What am I going to say?
How am I going to say it?
