Contemplating my next move, I take in his appearance for the first time since he opened that front door. I mean, really take him in and it shocks me that I never noticed it before.We share the same deep green eyes and olive complexion. His hair is dark, whereas mine is lighter like my mom’s, but he and I have the same build, the same smile.
I guess I get my athletic ability from him, too.
"Why do you call me son?” I stare at him, leaning my elbows on my knees, intertwining my fingers through each other, all while the words'stay calm'are on a loop in my head.
"Ah, there it is.” Leaning back in his chair, he draws a deep breath, staring at me, curious if I have anything else to say, but I don’t, so he begins.
"Your Mom and I met right before Angela and I got married. She caught me by surprise. Small-town girl, paving her own way, and didn’t care about my status. She wanted me for me and I loved that. I lovedher, Harley. I did.But I loved Angela, too. We were seeing each other for a long while, but… Angela and I had gotten married in that time.” He dips his head in shame, and I wonder if he ever thinks about all the people he hurt in his wake.
"When I found out your Mom was pregnant, I was hit with a wave of emotions. I was scared as hell, and excited, but I, I felt guilty, too. Guilty because I had betrayed my new, loving wife by falling in love with someone else. Guilty because I couldn’t be the man I promised your Mom I wanted to be. And because I couldn’t be the father to you that I hoped to someday be,” he admits, shaking his head.
"I already had a wife. We were planning our lives together. Then Angela told me she was pregnant with Austin, and I knew what I had to do.” He drags a hand down his face. "I couldn’t live a double life, so I went to your Mom and told her. I told her I was married and had a baby on the way, but that I would be a part of her baby—our baby’s life in whatever way she wanted. I told herI could be a dad to you if she wanted me to be. But she took off.” He shrugs, clearing his throat.
"I had no idea where she went, or when you were born. But then I saw her in town at Katie’s Diner, with a small boy sitting in the booth across from her, coloring pieces of paper while she drank her coffee. I just knew he was my son. I knewyouwere my son.” His eyes watering, a lump forming in my throat.
"What did she do when she saw you?”
"She told me I could be a part of your life when you and I were both ready for it. Only, I hadn’t told Angela about you. She found photos of you as a kid in my office drawer. Newspaper cut outs from winning games, photos of you and Austin together. My two sons together and the best of friends, too. Only, each one had no clue.”
The realization is like a punch to the gut. My best friend was my brother the whole time, and I was the only one who didn’t know.
I grew up with my brother right by my side.
Things could have turned out so differently if we had just known from the start. He wouldn’t have hated me. He wouldn’t have had it out for me.He wouldn’t have dated the only girl I’ve ever loved. He wouldn’t have destroyed everything I worked so hard to build.
"So, you watched from a distance?” I say and he nods.
"It was the only way I could be close to you without anyone getting hurt. Your Mom and I were the only ones who knew for sixteen years. But Austin overheard his Mom and I arguing and from that day onward, he deemed you enemy number one. He wouldn’t listen to reason. He just wanted someone to hate.” Cassandra’s hand reaches over to touch mine to remind me that they’re still there, but I dismiss it.
I don’t want to be touched right now, not even by her.
"Who caused my injury, Max?” I ask him, point blank. There’s no longer any reason to lie.
He’s quiet, his jaw ticking, and I know he doesn’t want to say the words out loud.
"I did what I had to do to protect my son.” He rises from his seat, walking toward the bar in his dining room to pour himself a glass of whisky.
"Bullshit, Max. You did what you had to do to protect your fucking image.” He nods, not disagreeing with me.
"You’re right. I did. But I know he didn’t mean to hurt you. He’s a good person, Harley. He’s a good person who did a bad thing.” I don’t know who he’s trying to convince, but he’s not convincing me.
"Do you know what the last thing he said to me was?” I ask. Three pairs of eyes honing in on me.
I’ve never told a soul about the last words I heard before waking up in the hospital, but there's no time like the present.
"He said, 'you deserve nothing less’ before spitting on my face and stomping on my head, knocking me unconscious.” I see Bea flinch in the corner of my eye. Cassandra wipes away the tears that have fallen down her cheeks.
"You will never be able to convince me that the man who said and did those things to hisbrotheris a good person. No fucking way.” Max is shaking his head, attempting to close the gap between us, but I put my hand out to stop him.
"I’m sorry, Harley. Is there any way that I can fix this? How can I make this right? I’ve missed out on so much of your life. I don’t want to miss out on more,” he asks and I hate that his voice cracks.
It makes him sound sincere.
I want so badly to tell him to fuck off.
To tell him to call a press conference and admit that his son was the person behind my injury and my premature retirement.
That his son resented me so much, he ruined my life. And that it was covered up by his own father.
