"That’s when I heard dad admit that he’d slept with Joanna. That they were in love. But when she told him she was pregnant, he panicked. He found out my Mom was pregnant with me not long after. My parents were already married. Hethought he was doing the right thing by his family." He dipped his head between his shoulders, knowing defending his dad’s actions was a lost cause.
Thesimilaritiesof Austin and Max’s lives were eerie.
Thankfully,Iwasn’t pregnant too.
"Mom gave him an ultimatum. Either he cuts ties with Harley and Joanna completely, or she’ll tell the whole town that the Golden Boy didn’t have such a clean image. He chose his image." It was like a knife to the gut.
His image was more important to him than knowing his son in the way that Harley deserved. And his wife was the one dangling it over his head.
I don’t know which Anderson was worse.
There were so many things that I wanted to say, but I’d held my questions until the end. Until I knew he’d said what he needed to say.
"It didn’t stop my dad from favoring him, though, and it fucking pissed me off. So, I went for the thing I knew he wanted the most. You." Tears streamed down my cheeks, but I didn’t hide them, either. I just let them fall.
"By the time senior year had come around, you and I had spent all summer together. What I felt for you had only intensified. So, if you’re asking if I really loved you, Cass? Of course, I did. I still do. I’m just a man who made a mistake." His voice was pleading for forgiveness, but I don’t think I’d had it in me to give it to him.
"It was never Harley’s fault, Austin. Shame on you for making him suffer." My voice almost a squeak. I was afraid to speak up, no longer knowing what he was capable of.
"I know," he said. "But I couldn’t control my hatred for him after that point and I don’t know why. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I also knew he was the son my dad always wanted, not me, the son he got. Even when Harley got to thepros, my dad followed his career so closely. He flew to Ohio to be the one to tell Harley he was the number one pick for the draft. He negotiated with the Eagles to make sure Harley was taken care of and got the best deal any rookie had ever seen. He even made sure Harley would be starting QB, which was unheard of for a rookie."
"Harley was an incredible player, Austin. Don’t you dare dismiss his talent because he was better than you."
"You think I don’t fucking know that, Cassandra? Of course, I know. He proved all the haters wrong and proved to the league why my dad vouched for him the way he did. Only, he had no clue my dad was behind it." His voice was raised now. He knew deep down his anger should have been aimed toward his father, but Harley was the easier target.
I could read Austin like a book. I knew he was mad at his own actions, but he was too stubborn to even consider admitting his wrong-doings or apologizing.
"What happened when you went to Charlotte for Monty’s bachelor party, Austin? Seven years ago?" I asked him, hoping he’d be honest with me.
"What are you talking about?" He played dumb, acted like he didn’t know what I was talking about. But his face turned so white, it was almost like there was no blood left inside of him to drain out.
"Alison told me," I shout at him as I stand from the bench, rage bubbling inside of me.
I don’t care who can hear me anymore.
I owe nothing to Austin Anderson.
"Tell me the truth, Austin."
"It was a mistake, Cass, I swear. I regretted it the moment I got home and saw you." He’s standing now, too, finally looking me in the eye and I feel hollow.
"How do youaccidentallydo that? How can you call that a mistake?" My typical non existent temper threatening to break free, my hands shaking by my sides.
You don’t accidentally fuck someone else.
You don’t just slip and fall and end up inside another fucking vagina.
"I was pissed off, Cass. His face was plastered on every TV in every sports bar across the damn country. They just won the fucking championships. The‘superstar quarterback at age twenty-three’.The‘next Max. Fucking. Anderson.’"His voice grew louder, more aggressive with every word.
"Then, when I saw him in the bar, my anger just took over. I saw red."The vein in the middle of his forehead bulging, face filled with fury.
"So, what? You saw your high school enemy, yourbrother,at a pub and you decided to cheat on your fucking girlfriend? The same girlfriend who was waiting for you at the home you shared?You took your anger out on me? I didn’t deserve that, Austin. I didn’t deserve to be on the other side of your wrath and betrayal."His steps falter. His brows crease, head tilting. His face covered with raw confusion and guilt, but if Ididn’tknow his face the way I did, I wouldn’t have spotted it.
"I…Cassandra, I’m—"
"You what? You were fucking angry, so you fucked someone else? And you kept it from me for seven fucking years? You proposed to me, knowing you were cheating on me? Fuck you, Austin."
Cheating isn’t a fucking accident.
