Miles needed more. Darren needed to be the architect of that.
"I'd like that very much," he said, and drew back enough to look into the adoring gaze of his husband's blue eyes. He couldn't ignore this growing reality he had yet to breach with his devoted husband.
"I was also wondering...." he paused, considering his words. The last thing he wanted was to make Miles doubt his intentions.
It had been an important part of the transition of their relationship from professional to personal that Miles trulybecame his partner in bed. Darren needed to be, at the very least, topped and ravished to be emotionally and physically satisfied. Fortunately, Miles had quickly become an expert.
Darren loved it when Miles turned such encounters into sensual decadence, serving and spoiling him. But there was a difference between topping and dominating. When it came to truly taking control and authority over him, it had become clear to Darren that the dynamic they'd already established would always make it difficult for both of them to truly switch.
"You're so strong, my love," he said softly, watching Miles's eyes lower with shy pleasure. "You've always been stronger than you knew, but seeing you grow... You know the deep, deep pride and pleasure I feel to have had any part in that."
"The biggest part." Miles claimed the sweetest kiss, and Darren held him close, reveling in the exquisite ache of love.
"It makes me so happy, husband. I can't help but want you to experience this feeling as well," he said, caressing Miles's face. "Have you ever thought about dominating someone? More than just the little bit you've done with me?"
Miles's gaze grew thoughtful; clearly, Darren had said the right thing. "I do take great pleasure in serving you however you need, husband," he said after a moment, and Darren smiled, rewarding him with another kiss.
"I know, darling. You're an incredible lover and very much my perfect sub. I love it when you take care of me. But it's not quite the same feeling, you know. I'd really like to help you find it." He stroked his fingers back into Miles's hair. "When we met, you asked me to help you heal. I still take that duty very seriously. Ibelieve this is the next step for you. I'm hoping you will allow me to teach this to you, too. If you'd like that."
Miles nodded slowly. For a long moment, he was silent, visibly considering his words. Darren tried not to worry. Miles did understand his intention. Didn't he?
Carefully, he examined his husband's beloved form, trying to read his body language and micro expressions. Miles's lips pressed together - was he thinking, or worrying? The last thing he'd ever want was to let a partner believe they weren't enough. Especially with Miles, who was trying to put a past with a sexually manipulative partner behind him.
Had he inadvertently broken Miles's trust when he'd been trying to do the exact opposite?
"I like the idea in theory," Miles said finally, slowly. "I do really like the idea of learning from you. I'm just not sure whether or not I could be... intimate like that with another person."
Darren nodded, stroking the back of his husband's neck. Miles was the kind of rare and beautiful lover who needed to care deeply for someone to begin to desire them sexually. Unfortunately, the tumultuous relationship with his ex-wife had made it difficult for him to trust just anyone to that degree. But that wasn't a hurdle they needed to consider right away, and possibly not ever. Still, Darren was sure that if he could help Miles experience the joy of being a deeply caring dominant for someone, the way Darren had for him, that sexual attraction would inevitably follow.
He suspected it was the final step his sweet husband needed to truly heal.
"Domination doesn't need to be sexual," he reminded his husband. "It's about making an emotional connection. I think that will be rewarding regardless of whether it ever becomes sexual. Don't you?"
Miles nodded slowly. His thoughts still seemed elsewhere, and Darren gave him the time to reflect.
"I can see that." Miles traced slow patterns on his chest. "I liked being a sponsor for a bit before Jackie moved to the West Coast. I know it's not the same, but..."
"Different kinds of commitment, but no less important," Darren reassured.
"Do you think a sub could see me as an authority figure, though? You and I have been out to a lot of events, and your Shibari classes. Though I guess there are other people like Mal who switch. Or are you thinking of someone new to the scene?"
"We'll make sure you can feel confident in anything we do. Maybe for the next beginner's class, we can have Mal come in to model, and you can be the teacher's aid? You've seen me teach those ties a dozen times now. Do you think you could do them?"
Pondering, Miles nodded again. "Yeah. I think I'd like that." Then he looked back at him with a shy smile. "You really think I can be like you?"
"I know you can," Darren assured him. "Like me, and something entirely new and wonderful. Your experience and natural empathy, Miles - being able to understand what it's like to mold and empower a submissive like I have with you - it's going to be magical."
"I do like the sound of that." Then his voice grew more teasing. "I don't know, though. You make such a hot leather daddy... leaving innocent subs like me so turned on."
Darren kissed him with a pleased moan. "You're the exception, husband. I do mean that we can start non-sexual for real, as you've seen at some of the sex parties. Closer to what I do with my clients. I'm not talking about the kind of not-sexual you and I attempted at the beginning."
Miles chuckled softly, casting him a rueful grin. "I just couldn't help but get turned on by my tall, sexy, freckled dom... with those lush, incredibly kissable lips...." He leaned in as if drawn by them, and Darren closed his eyes gladly to the warm sweetness of his mouth.
"All yours," he breathed, sighing in pleasure as Miles suckled at his bottom lip with a happy hum. Maybe the conversation wasn't important to have now. Not when he could melt into the warm happiness of Miles's embrace and the sweetness of his mouth.
"Dare..."
"Mm?" Darren drew back, searching his husband's gaze for signs of old hurt and uncertainty.
