ROBBIE
Since getting home, I had been staring at the box containing my past career.It was kind of depressing that part of my life fit into one box.Handing over my lanyard, company mobile, and leaving the building for the last time was strangely anticlimactic.There was no fanfare, no ceremony, just a last ‘good luck’ and that was that.
Now I was sitting on the sofa, feeling disoriented.Jumping out of my skin when Evan burst through the door holding a bottle of prosecco and two glasses.I wasn’t sure I was in the mood for celebrating, but saying no to Ev when he had that determined look in his eye was next to impossible.And Evan was excellent company most of the time.
Except when he started asking awkward questions — the kind that made me think about things I was trying very hard to hide from.I knew he always had my back and my best interests at heart.It was just him holding up a mirror and asking me to really see myself that I struggled with.
“So, what’s the plan?You aiming to be the new Oscar Wilde...”
I froze.
What did he mean?New Oscar Wilde, as in...satirical romantic plays and paranormal redemption stories?
Or the having a gay lover sort of thing?
From the glint in his eye and the smirk on his lips, I knew it was the latter.
Panic surged through me.
I wasn’t sure how to answer, so I took another gulp of my drink — hoping the right words were written at the bottom of the glass.
“Jeez, babe, slow down.Are you trying for a new world record?”
No, I wasn’t.I was stalling for time.
And the words no solace was ever found at the bottom of a glass sprang to mind.
At that moment, I didn’t care.
I’d been at a crossroads and chosen the way forward.That didn’t stop me from freaking out that my inner satnav was wrong and guiding me down the wrong road.
Fuck me, that was deep.
Did I need to think that kind of shit right now?
Hmm, how about...
More booze.Less introspection.
Deflecting, I asked, “You got a hot date for tomorrow?”
Evan narrowed his eyes, poured himself another drink, and took a seat at the breakfast bar.Tucking his long legs out of the way.
“I haven’t.Why are you asking when you know I’ve sworn off men?”
“For the time being...”
He snorted.“Temporary celibacy.Like a detox.I’ll be back on the apps by next week.”
I smiled, grateful for the shift in topic — but my mind was still spinning.
Not just from the alcohol.
From Ashton.
From the message I hadn’t replied to.
From the way his eyes had looked through the screen, like he saw something in me I hadn’t dared name.
