"Watch me."
"Jinx." He props himself up on one elbow, looks at me in the dim light. "She's going to be okay, but you won’t be if you don’t sleep."
I stare at the ceiling, the weight of responsibility pressing down. "I'm responsible for her now. If I fuck up, she's the one who suffers. If I fail, she's the one who pays."
"And if you succeed?"
"Then she wins in life."
Asher is quiet. Then he reaches over, takes my hand. "You're already succeeding," he says. "Look at her. She laughed today. She played with the other kids. She drew pictures of dogs and houses and a future she actually wants." His thumb traces circles on my palm. "That's you. That's what you've given her. Whatwe’regiving her because you’re not parenting her alone."
Lily stirs between us, mumbles something, settles back into sleep.
I watch her face, soft and unguarded. The fear smoothed away by rest. The trust that lets her sleep between two killers and not flinch.
"I love her," I say. The words come out raw, surprised. "I didn't expect to. Not this fast."
"I know."
"I love you too. Both of you. This weird, broken, impossible family we're building." I turn my head, meet his eyes. "It feels so weird. I don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling.”
"Neither do I." He grins, that infuriating grin. "Guess we'll figure it out."
"That's a terrible plan."
"It's the only one we've got."
I kiss him, soft and slow, careful not to wake Lily. He kisses me back, one hand cradling my face, thumb brushing my cheekbone.
When we break apart, his eyes are bright.
"Get some sleep," he whispers. "Big day tomorrow."
"What's tomorrow?"
"I don't know. But it'll be big. They all are, with you."
I laugh, quiet and surprised. Settle back against the pillow. Let my eyes close.
The adoption papers arrive on day fourteen.
Jagger pulls the strings, calls in favors, makes things happen. By the time the bureaucratic dust settles, Lily Harrison exists onpaper. Birth certificate, social security number, passport. A legal person with a legal name and legal parents.
"Lily Harrison." She traces the name on the document, wonder in her voice. "That's me. That's really me."
"That's really you." I crouch beside her, watch her face. "How does it feel?"
"Like... like I'm real now. Like I exist." She looks up at me, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I've never existed before. Not as a person. Not as myself."
"You've always existed. Now the world knows it too."
She throws herself at me, and I catch her, hold her, let her cry.
Asher comes in with coffee, stops when he sees us.
"Good tears or bad tears?"
"Good tears." Lily pulls back, wipes her face, smiles through the wet. "The best tears. I have a name. I have parents. I'm a real person."
