I’d never had asthma growing up. I was a professional ballerina ateight, I had no trouble breathing at all. But apparently, post-traumatic stress can do more than just cause anxiety, depression, and nightmares. It alters your physical brain, and in some cases, your whole physical health.
I can’t go anywhere without a rescue inhaler now, and I take a pill to manage it as well. And even as I get better and better, the odds of my asthma curing itself are slim to none. It’s chronic, and only meant to be managed, rather than fixed entirely.
Just another thing to bring me down.
Pulling myself out of my thoughts, I set my dishes in the sink and head up to my room. After lunch, I typically meditate or take a short nap. I’m not sure if I’m tired enough for either today, though. I have an unread text from Matteo to check, after all.
The soothing sight of soft purples and pearly whites greet me as I enter my bedroom, taking in a deep breath. The scent of lavender essential oils from my diffuser fills my nose, and I exhale slowly, kicking off my slippers in favor of walking around in my ankle socks.
My black yoga pants and white crewneck are warm enough that the air conditioning doesn’t feel too cool. It’s just right in here, like it always is. I’ve worked hard on finding out what best suits me when it comes to my bedroom. I like having a cozy and relaxing space to disappear to. I’d say I spend at least half of every day in here, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Laying down across the side of my bed on my stomach, I use a lilac throw pillow to prop my chin up and open my texts while lifting my feet into the air. My knees spread slightly to either side so that I can cross my ankles comfortably and rest.
Matteo
*two attached images*
Matteo
These two just woke up from a nap, which means it’s time to make a mess. Send help.
My heart twists at the pictures, soaking up every inch captured. In the first picture, Isobella and Cesar are standing upat what looks like a water table, smacking against the clear liquid inside it, effectively splashing it all over. In the second, Matteo is holding a grinning baby girl with his dark green shirt wet and clinging to his skin. I can’t see his face, but I recognize his arms wrapped around her, and the picture is taken in selfie mode.
Anya
Aww. They look like they’re having a blast :)
They really do. Their matching blue eyes are alight with joy and playfulness—something that I wish I could see in person for myself.Would it be too much to ask for a video next time?
Matteo
Yeah, they’re having much more fun now that water sensory time has turned into throw water at Uncle Matteo time. I tried to tell them that I already showered today, but they’re not having it.
Matteo
Jade finds it as funny as they do, so she won’t even save me.
I know he doesn’t actually want to be rescued. I can practically read his smile through his message.
Anya
I think you’ll survive.
Matteo
You wouldn’t save me either, would you? I’m hurt.
Anya
It’s just water, it’ll dry.
Matteo
The sting of betrayal won’t! :(
Anya
I’m sure you can handle it.
