I have so many questions to ask about how you’re settling in, but I don’t want to give you some kind of interrogation-filled letter. So, I’ll list a few and you only answer what you want to answer, okay?
How is the food? (I bet you knew I’d ask that, huh? I can’t help it, I’m a food-motivated man.)
Do you like your room?
Are you feeling okay?
Have you met a horse yet? I met one once. (I was six, and he tried to eat my hair. Scared the hell out of me.)
Is anyone bothering you? (I’llfucking kill themget them away from you, if you need me to.)
Do you miss me as much as I miss you?
Are you feeling homesick?
I suppose I should finish up this letter so it isn’t too long. But I hope you’re having a good time. You’re so strong, and I believe in you. I know you’re going to make it through all sixty days and come out the other side feeling happier and healthier. Remember, sei una meraviglia, Anya.
P.S. Expect a ridiculous number of emails from me. I plan to send you all my little thoughts. Who’s going to stop me from using the emailing system like text messaging?
P.P.S. I’ve always wanted to write P.P.S. I laughed while doing it. Does that make me ridiculously immature?
Yours,
Matteo
Dear Matteo,
This isn’t the first time I’ve written a letter, but it’s the first one I’ve written in English. I used to write letters to my family in Russia when I was little. In little scribbles that were barely legible, I’m sure, but they always wrote back and sent little candies in the envelopes.
I’m replying to your letter before I reply to my father’s, so you know that you really are the first. It’s day six here,and they’ve just given me my mail. I was a little upset that I wasn’t given anything right as it came, but I understand their method. Settling in first was probably smart. If I received mail in the first day or two, I might have been tempted to go home to cure my homesickness.
I feel okay, a little out of place still, but not unsafe. The staff is all very nice, and the patients have been too. I haven’t met any horses yet, but I will soon. The food is good, but I do miss Grigory’s cooking. My room is small but private; I got to bring my own bedding so that’s nice. It smells like home, or at least, my room.
I was a little homesick at first, but it gets better as time goes on. I don’t think anyone is bothering me, but I’m still getting used to being around so many faces. I was worried that I would feel uncomfortable with the men in the program, but all of them are very shy and quiet. We’re all grouped together based on similar trauma, and no one has felt threatening in any way.
I missyoutalking to you. So, I’m glad to receive your letters, even if they’re too long. And I’ll take as many emails as you can send me. I hope I have computer time soon. I can’t wait to see what six days of Matteo thoughts look like.
Thank you for your kind words, I hope that time goes by fast.
P.S. I don’t think it’s immature to find joy in silly things.
Yours,
Anya
Dear Anya,
I miss talking to you too. Hence all the emails. God, the mail service is slow, isn’t it? I started writing things down before I got your first letter, so I would remember them when your reply came.
I can’t imagine there was ever a time that your handwriting looked like scribbles. It’s so neat and flowy it almost looks like a computer wrote your letter to me. I’m tempted to frame it just for the calligraphy alone.
I’m glad you’re not too homesick, and hope by the time this letter gets to you, you’re even less so. I’m glad the food is good, but I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes even eating at Michelin star restaurants, I miss Martha’s cooking. Nothing beats homemade cooking from someone who cares about you.
Speaking of food, it might be too soon to tell, but do you think you’ll return to your menu when you go home? I never told you, but when I finally finalized your weekly meals, I tried to do it myself. I like all of the options, so it was no hardship. I definitely had larger portions than you would have, but it was good. Honestly, the part I would struggle with in the future would be dessert. I need more sweet treats than frozen yogurt, meraviglia.
Anyway, I wanted to know that I could stick to the menu if I came to visit for more than a couple days. That way we could eat together for every meal and have it be the same. I like variety but I’d like to share with you even more, I think.
But if we’re scrapping the menu, there’s other dishes I could introduce you to. I’m no professional, but Martha’s taught me plenty in the kitchen. I’ve already been commanded to make you her chicken parm. When I told her it was your favorite, she was elated but also annoyed that a Russian man was making it for you. She says no one makes Italian food like Italian women, but I’ll do well enough since she’s the one who taught me.
