"Well, those kids are lucky to have you. I wouldn't have the patience," he says.
Marcus lowers his voice, leaning closer to me, "That's what makes you the perfect daddy."
I look around the bar, taking in the diverse crowd. The rainbow flag flying above the bar encourages everyone to be themselves, and I'm glad our town has a safe space. When I moved to Rockport Ridge, I was worried about how the townwould accept me. Go to find out, there is a relatively large number of residents who identify on the LGBTQ+ spectrum.
Getting pulled into multiple conversations, I notice Caleb being cuddled under Barrett's arm.
"Is everything okay?" Noah asks Barrett, pulling my attention further.
"Yeah, it's just been a busy week with Valentine's Day around the corner. The shop is busier than usual, and my little peanut here has been working himself to the bone." Barrett explains.
"It's good that the shop is doing well. I love your bouquets. They are all gorgeous and I can never decide which one I want to brighten my small kitchen nook." I tell him. It's true. Caleb's designs are all so creative and gorgeous. I prefer something a bit more eclectic and wild. Still, I will always support a friend's business. And his arrangements are stunning.
"Try and have some fun tonight. I am the daddy, let me handle it. I will find some help for you. Maybe an assistant. Someone who will fit right in. The shop is flourishing, and we can afford to bring on another person. Just give me a little time, okay." Barrett consoles Caleb by kissing the top of his head. Caleb closes his eyes and melts into him.
"Time is what we don't have." Caleb pouts.
"Don't be a brat, Peanut." Barrett looks over at Noah across the table, who is feigning innocence.
"I may have someone who can help," Kai speaks up from the head of the table. Everyone stops and looks his way. Shaun grins and looks at him and nods. "Let me reach out to him. No promises, and it's just an interview. If you don't think he'll be a good fit, I'm sure there won't be any hard feelings." The look that Shaun and Kai are passing back and forth tells me that something else is going on that they aren't saying.
Kai pulls out his phone and starts typing away quickly.
After a few more moments of idle chit chat around the table, Grayson lifts up his drink, which is mostly melted ice at this point. "Alright, lovebirds, and I'm talking to your two," Grayson holds his drink out to Shaun and Kai. "Thank you for inviting us all tonight. And…let me be the first to congratulate the two of you on your engagement."
Cheers erupt around the table, and Shaun pulls Kai into a lingering kiss. Cat calls and wolf hollers explode around us from other bar goers as well, and the night is officially kicked off in celebration of one of my closest friends.
Trying to remember why I am here tonight is a struggle as I watch Marcus nuzzle Noah's ear and Barrett pulls Caleb into a tender kiss. The weight of my singleness feels heavier than usual.
I long for the effortless connection and the quiet understanding that passes between these couples around me without a word. I want someone to share the silly, mundane moments with, someone to tease me about my classroom disasters while I hold him close.
I want my own version of the fairytale, and tonight, surrounded by so much love, it feels impossibly far away.
Chapter Two
__________
Ben
Walking out of the eloquent shop filled with arrangements designed for elaborate weddings or funerals, the low tone of the bell mocks my farewell as Cole's–my old boss–dismissive words echo in my ears,"Advertising the shop? What,"he scoffed,"you think these...volunteers are going to bring in paying customers?"His voice was condescending at best.
I think back to months ago when I gave flowers to a particular doctor who was volunteering at the center. His eyes spoke volumes. His gratitude meant everything. Another voice over shadows that of Cole's––my mother. I was ten. She said to be kind no matter what.
The flowers I gave Ms. Tibball back then, and the appreciation she showed, gave me such a warm feeling back then. I chase that feeling to this day. Every time I give an arrangement of flowers to someone, it warms me to my core.
A small bloom of gratitude for their kindness.
I tried explaining this to Cole, but he only cared about the shop's image and making money. What's so wrong with giving out a few small flower arrangements? I made them from the leftover flowers that would have ended in the trash because, to Cole, they weren't perfect. Unlike him, I always found beauty in the imperfect.
I wrap my crocheted scarf around my neck a little tighter as I wander over to the park across the street. Due to it beingearly February, there aren't any flowers to admire in the park's gardens. The skies above are gray, and it feels like it could snow tonight. The ground is cold beneath my well-loved Converse tennis shoes as I continue to stroll along the paved pathways. A lone little boy playing with bubbles near the swings catches my attention as I watch his father dip the little stick in the plastic jar and blow out another set.
My heart aches for the childhood I once knew.
Thinking back on the exchange with Cole, I can't help but wonder…Am I fired? I was told to go home for the day, and the whole exchange made it sound like Cole was unhappy with me. But he never said whether or not I was let go. The uncertainty gnawed at me. The indecision feels like a bloom that is wilting a slow, painful death.
Maybe my passion for flowers and the desire to connect them to people's lives in a meaningful way is a liability. Not an asset.
A gentle breeze rustles the leaves that are still hanging onto the branches above me. I close my eyes momentarily, trying to picture the look on the volunteers’ faces as I handed over the small arrangements. The containers came from yard sales and thrift stores. Each one is unique, like the recipient. Such a small moment of joy. A little bit of sunshine in these gray days we've been having.
