“Sure you did. You think if a beautiful woman smiles, she’s issuing an invitation.” I grimace. “That’s gross, Elliot. But, it’s the strangest coincidence, because it turns out most straight men who meet my wife actually do want her.Well, who wouldn’t? She’s brilliant. Kind. Fucking gorgeous, am I right?”
Elliot kicks his feet when his toehold slips, rocks skittering and bouncing off the cliff face before plunging into the sea below. His eyes flare in panic.
“Am I right, Elliot?”
“Yes.”
“So, I have a little skill with lip reading.” I pinch my finger and thumb together to demonstrate. “And I’m even better at body language. I’ve studied it thoroughly. It’s a bit of a hobby. So, I’m going to tell you what I saw. I saw a man who took one look at my wife and decided he was entitled to her time and attention. Am I right?”
“I don’t know.”
“Am I right?”
“Yes,” he wails.
“First, you attempted emotional manipulation by trying to make her feel insecure about using a cane. You were clumsy as hell about it, but even if you weren’t, Franki can recognize thatshit from a mile away. The real question is: What kind of wanker does something like that?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t know.”
“You’re smarter than that. You do know.”
“A wanker like me?” he sobs.
I take a dramatically bracing breath of the salty air. “A wanker like you. Then you disparaged her intelligence. Does negging really work on anyone? It’s so . . . obvious.”
He blinks back at me.
“Does it?”
His chin wobbles. “Not yet.”
“Not ever. You wanted to show her you were the smartest person here. Instead, you made it clear you’re the most insecure. If you want to impress women, Elliot, you have to listen to them. Respect them.” I pull my switchblade from its sheath on my calf, flick it open, and use it to scrape the tip of my thumbnail. “You have to be a good person.” I spread my arms. “Look at me. That woman loves me like I hung the moon. Do you know why?”
“Because you have money?” he sobs.
I scoff. “Because I treat her like she’s the sun and the stars. Isn’t that poetic?”
“You’re crazy. Help me up.”
I fumble the blade and “catch” it half an inch from his nose. “Oops.”
“It’s poetic,” he cries.
“I think so too.”
“I’m sorry I was gross. I’m sorry I tried to neg Dr. McRae. I’m sorry. Please let me up.”
“Sibling rivalry can be so tedious, especially when one sibling doesn’t even realize his brother is jealous enough to deliberately undermine the most important day of his life.”
Tears stream down Elliot’s cheeks and snot bubbles from his nose. “Everyone thinks Noah is perfect. It’s not fair.”
“Your brother once stepped in front of a gunman to protect my wife and save my dog. He was terrified, and he did it anyway. You don’t deserve it, but he’d do the same for you. What do you think I’d do for a man like that?”
“He didn’t tell me.”
“What. Do you think. I would do?”
“A-anything?”
