Page 54 of Faking With You

She smiles and rubs her hand over her belly. “You know, already having one kid you’d think I’d be so ready, but I think I’m more of a mess this time.” She laughs. “I think Caleb has it together more than I do.”

“I bet Caleb is privately freaking out,” Hannah says. “That man seems to be all calm and collected on the outside and the complete opposite on the inside.”

“He’s my rock, but I know he’s got his own little things he’s stressed about. I think his biggest worry is that I’ll go into labour while he’s on shift. I’ve told him that I’ll be fine until he gets to me, but he doesn’t want to miss anything.”

“He’s already such a good dad to Charlie, he’ll be just as amazing with this new one,” Liv says.

Bailey’s smile turns even softer. We got to watch her and Caleb fall in love, but almost better was watching how Caleb fell in love with Charlie. That man opened up in a way none of us had ever seen when those two showed up in his life.

We talk and laugh, and I sit in how grateful I am for these girls. I know that in a few months I’m going to need them more than ever and they’ll be there because they’re my family, blood or not.

When I get home, I text Mac the details for my dad’s birthday dinner and call my parents, letting them know I’m bringing someone with me this weekend. Their curiosity is obviously piqued; I haven’t mentioned Mac to them before, I haven’t even mentioned being in a relationship. I thought I could avoid telling them and the obvious questions that will come when this ends, but when Mac asked about meeting them I couldn’t find it in me to say that he couldn’t. When he let me meet his mom and encouraged us to see each other again when we travel back to London it only made it harder. He was sharing that part of his life with me, who would I be to hold this part of me back? I know a secret part of me also really wants my parents to meet Mac. Not even for approval, but so that they can meet the person who’s made me feel more confident in myself, who even for a short time has made me feel desired and loved in a way I didn’t know was possible.

I decide in this moment that I’m going to stop fighting whatever this is with Mac, because even if it crushes me in the end, it will mean that what I’m feeling is real. Mac will be thestandard I measure every future relationship against. Do they make me feel safe and strong at the same time? Do I find myself smiling just at the thought of them? Do I always want to be around them?

I climb into bed early, and despite being exhausted, I toss and turn, unable to fall asleep. After thirty minutes, I realize why. It’s because I don’t have Mac. I don’t have his presence in this bed or his arm holding me close to him. It takes me forever to fall asleep, and I wonder if he’s having the same issue or if maybe he’s sleeping better than he has in weeks having his bed all to himself.

CHAPTER 40

Mac

I’ve slept like shit all week. I thought maybe my dinner with Eliza would provide a small reprieve, but it didn’t. I can’t seem to sleep without having her in my bed. I’ve almost tried to figure out what perfume she wears so I can spray it on a pillow and at least have her scent next to me while I sleep. I’m hoping that I can convince her to stay at my place or let me stay with her after dinner with her parents. I need at least one night's good sleep, and I think having her in my arms is the only way I’ll achieve that.

I realized this week how much I’ve fallen for her. It’s no longer just a passing intrigue and wanting to get to know her better. It’s become wanting to go home to her every night, to text her throughout the day, make more travel plans, but one where we don’t work and just get to spend time together. I want to plan a future with her in whatever way that looks like. I’m willing to compromise on anything and everything if it means I can have her. I know it’s not possible, so I’m going to spend the next three months taking everything I can.

I pick her up on Saturday for dinner, and she gives me directions to her parents' place. They live in the city, but closer to UBC’s Point Grey campus, so it’s a bit of a drive. I pull up outside her parents' place, and when I reach for the door handle, she reaches out and stops me. I turn to look at her, and she’s taking a deep breath and turning to me.

“I should probably give you a heads-up, my parents are super conservative, meaning that if we talk about London, we stayed in separate rooms. We’ve never spent a night together, and we keep PDA to an absolute minimum.”

I’m not sure what to say to her, other than to nod and accept what she’s told me. It’s too late to dig further into what she’s just divulged, but I’m also going to respect her and her wishes. I step out of the car and round to her side, opening her door for her and offering her a hand. She takes it, and I reach into the back and grab the flowers I grabbed for her mom.

I follow her up the steps of the stoop and wait as she knocks on the door. Thirty seconds later, the door is pulled open by a small woman around Eliza’s height with the same black hair but pulled into a tight bun. She says a polite hello and nods as she opens the door further for us to step in. I offer her the flowers, and she thanks me while we slip our shoes off.

Her mother doesn’t exude warmth the way Eliza does. It’s not exactly a cold demeanour, but rather one of put togetherness. We follow her into the kitchen where a man not much taller than her with salt and pepper hair is sitting at the kitchen counter reading the paper. He turns to look at us and folds the paper, putting it down.

Eliza approaches him and hugs him as she says, “Hi, Dad.”

He hugs her back, and she steps back and says, “Mom, Dad, this is Mac, my boyfriend. Mac, these are my parents, Eliana and William.”

I shake each of their hands. “It’s a pleasure to meet you both.”

I feel their assessing gaze as they each shake my hand. Eliana offers me something to drink and moves around the counter to pour me a glass of water. The air feels stiff, and I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to overstep when it comes to Eliza. I want to make a good impression, especially knowing I want to be able to spend tonight with her, not even for sex. I want to hold her. I can’t be screwing this dinner up.

Eliana hands me the glass, and I say my thanks as Eliza offers to help her finish dinner. William tips his head towards the kitchen table, and I follow him. We sit across from each other, and I take a sip of my water, hoping to cut some of the tension in the room. I’m beginning to wonder if this is how Eliza felt meeting my father. He’s not a warm person either, and now I worry she held the same unsureness as I do now.

“How did you meet my daughter?” he asks. “When she called earlier this week to tell us she was bringing someone with her, it was the first time we’d heard she was seeing someone.”

“I play recreational hockey with some of her friends' husbands. We met while she was attending one of the games with her friends.”

“You play hockey?”

I nod. “I played growing up, and once I started working it was a nice way to stay involved in the sport.”

“What do you do for work?”

“I work for my father’s real estate business. I went to school and got my business degree and worked my way up the ranks. My father is a big believer in hard work and earning everything, so I put my head down and did that. I now run our Vancouver office.”

His gaze is still assessing, but it seems like he’s at least somewhat satisfied with my answers. His questions stopmomentarily, and I’m not sure if it’s because he’s thinking of more or if he’s waiting for his wife to continue the third degree.