‘Yeah. Maybe.Not believed her exactly,’ Nathan said, trying to remember. ‘I mean, he took it seriously, I suppose. That’s his job though, isn’t it? As a nurse. And he’s that type as well.’
He was put in mind of Steve’s constant nagging. His unannounced visits and constant questions and his insistence that Nathan come to the clinic. He was persistent to the point of intrusion.
‘Not seriously enough for it to turn into a formal issue, though,’ Ilse said.
‘No. It didn’t go anything like that far.’
Ilse exhaled slowly. ‘Cameron never really got on with Steve.’
‘No. Well, I guess you tend to remember things like that.’
Sophie’s voice called out again. ‘Mummy!’
Ilse ignored it this time, keeping her eyes on Nathan. ‘You always believed Cam?’
‘Yes. Absolutely.’
‘No doubt at all?’
There was a strange note in the air that Nathan couldn’t quite place. Her face was hard to read in the weak porch light, and he squirmed a little as he felt a long-buried guilt resurface. Cameron may not have told his wife everything, but looking at her now, Nathan could bet he had told her some things.
‘No,’ he said firmly. ‘No doubt.’
Ilse’s face altered a fraction into another expression he couldn’t interpret. Sophie’s voice rang out again.
‘For God’s sake. I’d better go.’ She opened the door and paused for a moment. ‘Good night, Nathan.’
‘Good night.’
She disappeared inside and Nathan looked down at Duffy, who wagged her tail and offered no comment. Nathan sat there for a minute longer, then put Sophie’s guitar down and wandered down the verandah steps and out into the dark of the yard, Duffy at his heels. He waited for his eyes to adjust. All was quiet from the backpackers’ caravan. They must have made their peace, for now at least.
When he could see well enough to make out Carl Bright’s grave underneath the gum tree, he walked over and stood at the edge, unable to shake the feeling that he’d stuffed up. He’d meant to reassure Ilse, but could tell he’d missed the mark. He had fallen short in defending Cameron, and not for the first time. Nathan looked down at where his dad lay.
‘What’s this bullshit I hear about some girl?’ Carl had said. He’d hung up his call from the sergeant and summoned his two eldest sons.
Nathan remembered hovering, his back against the wall, as Cameron stuttered through an explanation. After a minute, Carl had cut him short and turned to Nathan.
‘Where were you when this was going on? Sniffing after that little bitch next door?’
‘Jacqui, you mean.’
The back of Nathan’s head bounced against the wall with a sharp smack. Carl hadn’t even bothered to look at him properly as he’d lifted an arm and taken a swipe, his attention focused on Cameron. The blow had come too fast for Nathan to defend himself; not that he necessarily would have anyway. Sometimes it was easier not to. He realised Carl was still waiting for an answer and this time Nathan just nodded.Yeah, I was with Jacqui.
‘Why weren’t you looking out for your brother?’
Nathan had no idea what to say to that.
‘You saw them, though?’ Carl was pointing at Cam, but shouting at Nathan. ‘Go on, then. Tell me. Has he done something I need to worry about?’
Carl’s eyes were on him now. Their gazes drew level these days, and Nathan wondered why he was still flooded with the same terror he’d felt his whole life. The feeling that came whenever Carl raised his voice or his hands or both. When Nathan had been forced to burn his guitar.
It would never change, Nathan realised with a terrible flash of clarity. Carl wouldn’t stop and Nathan didn’t seem to be able to make him, so perhaps they were stuck like this for the rest of their lives. He was exhausted by the thought. His head hurt from the blow. He looked at Cameron, and whatever his brother had or hadn’t done, Nathan was suddenly sick of it all.
He didn’t want any of this. It wasn’t him bringing that kind of trouble home. He at least had the bloody sense to check he had the nod from Jacqui before he took her pants off. Nathan’s head was still ringing as he looked from Carl to Cameron and all at once he didn’t want to be near either of these men. He wanted to be all alone, somewhere far away. He was still thinking about that when Cameron brushed his arm lightly with his elbow, and brought him back with a jolt. Nathan realised his mistake and opened his mouth and did what he would expect Cam to do for him. Have his back.
‘No,’ he said. ‘Cam didn’t do anything.’
In reality, the answer had come only a beat late. Not even that; half a beat. A delay so slight it was barely discernible. But Carl had noticed it, as his eyes slid from one son to the other.
